Friday, January 9, 2009

Don't Let Them Die Alone

Don't Let Them Die Alone
Hospice Care Spirituality Would Benefit From Greater Christian Engagement.
A Christianity Today Editorial
Posted 1.6.2009 08:25AM


Spiritual seekers seek till the very end of life, demonstrated a recent New York Times piece about the friendships between "spiritual but not religious" hospice patients and their chaplains. As hospice care has become an affordable, dignifying end-of-life choice in recent decades (the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization says that 38 percent of deaths last year were in hospice) the demand for hospice chaplains has boomed. The Association of Professional Chaplains reports a 50 percent jump in the last 10 years of the number of U.S. hospice chaplains.

Chaplaincy culture has changed, too. What was once a field of ordained clergy is now filled by many who see it more as social work than a divine calling.

No matter chaplains' motives, the benefit of spiritual support in the last days is undeniable, something the medical community plainly recognizes. Serving alongside nurses, counselors, and home health aides, chaplains "are the patient's advocate," says Phil Kenyon, an Illinois resident taking chaplaincy training at Vitas, a national accreditation program. "You are showing a dying person dignity and love that in some cases, they may never have received in their lives."

The patient's requests may be anything from prayer to chats about God, to chats about anything but God, to confession, to simply having a hand held. Other patients may not even know someone is there; oftentimes it's the family making requests on their behalf. (Families stand at the center of the hospice-care model, as relational comfort is one proven way to stave off depression and further ailments.) Whatever the spiritual needs, it's always the patient seeking the chaplain, not the other way around.

Sadly, the hospice patients requesting a chaplain's care are usually those disconnected from church or other faith communities. As one director of a hospice organization told the Times, "The ones with a family priest, they're not calling us." They do not have congregations coming to fix meals, run errands, talk with the family, and, most importantly, help them die well with the church's rituals. Surrounding family members also suffer from no network, since they must at once attend to their loved one's physical needs and try to answer questions they themselves may be asking. This leaves many families exhausted and unprepared to begin the grieving process.

Joanne Webber, widow of beloved theologian Robert Webber, notes the irony. "The people most likely to call on a hospice chaplain [are] non-Christians," she says. "Because Christians tend to be surrounded by their family and friends, it might actually intimidate the hospice person. You would end up giving your testimony to them."

The church is not to miss this chance to serve those whose worth is no longer about productivity but primarily, and simply, about bearing God's image. Given that the number of hospice patients will rise as the boomer generation ages and hospice care becomes a normal part of dying in America, Christians ought to be at the forefront of providing this ministry of presence in years to come. Those with the heart for spiritual care can complete most chaplaincy certification programs within two years. And lay members, though not always able to interact with patients, can volunteer at hospitals and nursing homes and visit neighbors to meet practical needs and assure families they are not alone.

Instead of requiring the weak and hopeless to seek us out, we should be seeking them out, bringing with us the presence of Christ. And, if sensitively timed and led by the Holy Spirit, we may be asked to speak of the "reason for the hope that you have" — even in the face of death. It's the uniquely Christian hope in the Resurrection that should compel us to share it with those who need it most.

Going Home

Going Home
By Nancy Kennedy

Gathered with my family, I prayed for another Reunion.
January 7, 2009 |

The funny thing about families: Even if you're apart for awhile, when you get back together, it's like no time at all has lapsed.

Recently, my niece Jennifer graduated college. She was the first in our family to do so, and we all went to my sister’s house in California to celebrate.

Dad looked the same, just a few inches shorter. He still drapes his legs over the side of a chair when he sits. I cried when I saw him, and I couldn't keep from staring at him and at my brothers and my sister. It was all so surreal. It had been 10 years since we’d all been together.

My brother's mustache is gray now. My nephews are grown men. My sister is a grandma—and so am I. The matriarch of our family, Aunt Gladys, came from San Francisco. She's lost weight, still wears pearls.

We all met for dinner at the hotel where my husband and I were staying. Because there were so many of us, the hotel restaurant put us in a separate dining room. They must have been warned that the O'Brand-Kennedy-Watson branch of the O'Rourke family can get a bit rowdy at dinner, telling the same old stories we always tell when we're together.

When I was 13, my brother Jim called me an albino gorilla and I went berserk. I screamed and cried as only a hormonal teenager can. We told that story, and the one about the footprints up the closet wall in the boys' bedroom. After all these years, still nobody claims responsibility.

On Saturday, we girls of the family pooled our money and did a makeover on my niece’s bedroom while the boys did boy stuff. I think televised sports were involved. Afterward, we went out for ice cream. It's not an O'Rourke-O'Brand-Kennedy-Watson get-together without ice cream.

Too soon it was time to say goodbye. My brother had to catch a plane to Boston; my husband and I had to get back to Florida. Mom and Dad had to go back to Mexico and check on their dog. We all said the usual, “It's been too long. Let's not wait so long next time. We'll keep in touch.” That's what families always say to each other when they have to go their separate ways. That's because separation of families is unnatural.

Families were meant to be together. Forever. Maybe not all under one roof—but together, nonetheless. Separation hurts, especially when you know some of those you love may not be with you in eternity.

But God is working in my family. Thirty years ago when God called me into a relationship with himself and I surrendered my life to Jesus, I was the only Christian in the O'Rourke-O'Brand-Kennedy-Watson clan. Now there are a handful of us, not because of my influence, but despite it. I still tend to go albino-gorilla-berserk now and then. Plus, I don't write or call my mom like I should, and I wouldn't let my husband hold the photos I took. Even so, God is working in my family because he’s merciful and gracious and he answers prayer.

Most of my family members don’t or won’t listen to me talk about Jesus, so I talk to him about them. He says not to worry. He’s preparing a place, although he doesn’t say who will be there—so I keep praying.

When I said goodbye to my sister, I was brave—but I cried back in my hotel room. Separation isn't natural. So, I'll e-mail her every day and hope to see her again soon.

Thank God for technology. Thank God for eternity, too, because I’ll ultimately never be separated from my sister. She belongs to Jesus, too.

Still, separation is unnatural. It hurts. But God's not finished with my family. I trust and hope and pray he's working on an eternal reunion for the O'Brand-Kennedy-Watson branch of the O'Rourke family.

Who knows? Maybe we'll have ice cream.

Posted at 10:00 AM on January 7, 2009.

The Promise I Thought God Forgot

The Promise I Thought God Forgot
By Stephanie Voiland
January 7, 2009

Maybe it was just one of those mornings, or a touch of the post-holiday blues. Or maybe my coffee hadn't had time to do its magic yet. But for whatever reason, when I read a certain verse recently, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

On any given day, if you asked me if I believe the Word of God, I'd say yes. And if you asked me if I love the Word of God, affirmative again. But when I hit verse 6 of Psalm 68, I got stuck. I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't see how it was true in my life. And to be honest, I felt a little gypped by God. I thought maybe someone should remind him of his promise, and I figured I might as well be the one to do it.

Here's the line that tripped me up: "God places the lonely in families" (Psalm 68:6).

Ever since I was a girl, I dreamed about the family I'd be placed into someday. I'd marry a dashingly handsome man and have two charming kids (and yes, I already had their first and middle names picked out). Thus far, my life hasn't taken that course … which is probably just as well, since the names I picked out at age nine would have inflicted torture on helpless children. Still, the truth remains that I haven't been placed in the kind of family I conjure up when I read that line in the Psalms.

For some reason, the no-family hole seems particularly gaping around the recent holiday season. Maybe it's because of those ubiquitous diamond jewelry commercials that make you feel like everyone else has someone to love. Or those holiday parties where all the other guests leave arm-in-arm with a special somebody while you head home solo to a dark, empty house. Or maybe it's those family get-togethers where the relatives rib you yet again about your lack of someone to stand under the mistletoe with. Or maybe it's just the general coziness of the twinkly lights and the coupley lyrics of "Let It Snow." In any case, I feel my family-less state even more keenly around the holidays and during the post-holiday lull we're in right now.

But as I was reminding God (not so subtly) of his promise to put us in families, I sensed he wanted to open my eyes to something I'd been overlooking for quite some time. Something so obvious I'd fairly been tripping over it. Maybe, God seemed to be pointing out to me, his definition of family means more than a husband, 2.3 kids, a dog, and a house with a real Christmas tree in the picture window. Maybe family is something more messy and complicated that the sugar-plum vision in my head—but ultimately even more beautiful.

Is it possible I've been experiencing the gift of family all along but haven't recognized it because it didn't come in the packaging I expected? Maybe family is being invited to my godson's birthday party, or going on the occasional road trip with my college roommate and her husband. Maybe family is the group of seven women that meets weekly over our lunch break to pray together. Maybe family is having dinner with my aunt and uncle and letting them fix my broken chair for me. Maybe family is gathering my fellow dateless coworkers and carpooling to the company Christmas party together. Maybe family is finding a handful of people to sit with at church every week. Maybe family is calling Mom several times during my cookie-baking session for her help deciphering the recipe. Maybe family is my monthly gatherings with my book club friends as we peel back layers of stories and ourselves. Maybe it's all of these rolled together somehow to form a bigger family than I'd imagined.

This revelation shouldn't come as such a surprise to me, since of all the metaphors God uses to describe his people, family is one of the most prominent. He describes himself as our Father, which makes all of his children brothers and sisters. And even more incredibly, Jesus himself came to earth so he could be our brother: "So now Jesus and the ones he makes holy have the same Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them his brothers and sisters" (Hebrews 2:11).

This new year, I'm sure I'll still have occasional pangs of longing for a family according to my traditional definition. But underneath that, I want to hang on to God's promise—the one it turns out he's been faithful in fulfilling all along. He does put the lonely in families. His family.

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NFL Week 19 Picks: Divisional Playoff Edition

NFL Week 19 Picks: Divisional Playoff Edition
M.D. Wright
1.8.09

Doing Power Rankings are pointless now, so I'm going to just do the picks for these four GREAT games we have coming up this week.

Remember three things for me in regards to all the "tendencies" people like to bring up here:

1. So what with the weather; these guys are playing for ALL the stakes. No one is going to let weather affect them.

2. Same with the Cardinals in their West to East travails. They will be fine.

3. Who cares about Jim Johnson's defence? They didn't stop Jacobs when he was healthy -- we won. He's healthy for Sunday. Do the math.

With that... let's get it.

Baltimore Ravens vs. Tennessee Titans
LP Field
Nashville, Tennessee
Line: TEN -3
Over/Under: 34.5

On paper, this looks like a mismatch. To me, Baltimore has more going for it than Tennessee does; they're motivated, they have momentum, their running game is doing just as much as Tennessee's will, they have a BETTER QB (I am telling you -- this IS the time when the REAL Kerry Collins rears his ugly head) and an overall better defence. Ed Reed >>> ANYONE Tennessee has back there in their secondary (and that includes Finnegan and Hope).

Albert Haynesworth is going to play, but how fresh is he going to be? Is he out of shape? Still banged up? Will he be effective? We'll see, I doubt it, seriously. Kevin Mawae may play; Kyle Vanden Bosch is not going to be 100%. Getting pressure on Flacco is going to matter. If they can't, he's going to pick them apart. The Titans have average LBs and a pretty active secondary, but even with that, you can be beaten without pressure on the QB.

Ravens get revenge for the ref-aided/bad call on T. Suggs earlier this year.

Call:
Baltimore 17
Tennessee 9
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Arizona Cardinals vs. Carolina Panthers
Bank of America Stadium
Charlotte, North Carolina
Line: CAR -10
Over/Under: 48.5

Please explain to me why the Panthers are 10 point favorites? Dear God. Anyway, as I said before -- throw all that nonsense about traveling east out the window. The Curds already broke a trend last week by running the ball more than they had in three months. It caught the Fulcons off guard and was the difference in the ball game. They won't sneak up on the Black Cats with that running game, but the Panthers aren't all that effective in stopping the run when teams are persistent about it (See Week 16: Giants rushed for 301 yards on Carolina's "vaunted" rush defence). With a shaky QB like Jake Delhomme, I cannot FATHOM why Carolina is favored by so much. Yes, little Stevie Smith and Moose are great, but if Jake isn't effective, THEN what? The Cards shut down Michael Turner last week (better than either guy Carolina has) and Jonathan Stewart has been largely ineffective since Week 12 -- he's done nothing more than spell DeAngelo Williams. The Cards can stop Williams. Can the Curds stop the Traveling Kurts? I doubt it, seriously.

Call:
Arizona 34
Carolina 31
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Philadelphia Eagles vs. New York Football Giants
Giants Stadium at the New Jersey Meadowlands
East Rutherford, New Jersey
Line: NYG -4
Over/Under: 40

The line looks about right, the over/under? I can't tell ya about it. This game can either be in the 30s (total) or high 50s. Who knows? Yes, "they know each other" and all that stuff, but who do the Iggles have to stop Jacobs? The last time he was healthy, the Giants won. PERIOD. At this point, all else being equal (McNabb and Manning, Iggles' LBs and Jints' LBs) and the Giants' offencive and defencive lines having a bit of an edge over the Iggles' that's the difference. Sure, Westbrook MAY get ONE big play (remember, he did not have one in the first matchup, and his two big plays in the 2nd game was the only difference in the 2nd game; even with as poorly as the Giants played). For once, someone is either going to make some money or lose tons with that line if it doesn't move lower to -3. No more pushes!

Call:
Philadelphia 20
NY Giants 24
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San Diego Super Chargers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
Heinz Field
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Line: PIT -6
Over/Under: 37.5

37.5??? They'll be fortunate to get out of the 20s hah. But LaDainian Tomlinson? Stick a fork in him. He's done (in terms of these playoffs). I think Darren Sproles will be able to get on the perimeter and take advantage of Woodley and Harrison (which is why he won DPOY and ONLY why) blitzing every other play. DO NOT underestimate the effect of taking advantage of an overpursuing defence. Sure, S Troy Polamalu seems to be ubiquitous, but c'mon. He can't be there for EVERYTHING. He's no Ed Reed hah. But I think the Chargers get revenge for that 11-10 game eaerlier. They were right there and they're playing MUCH BETTER football now; as opposed to at the time. Whereas PIT has remained consistent (although playing very well). How effective will they be at QB? We'll see. I'm going with the road dogs here. Hah.

Call:
San Diego 16
Pittsbugh 13

If you have a problem, TURN OFF YOUR STATION!!!

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MDW