Why Looks Are More Important To Men Than Women
By Michael D. Wright
9.16.08
I felt compelled to blog about this topic, because I have been bombarded with inquiries as to why I like what I like in women CONSTANTLY over the past few days. Not sure why so many women are trying to get into my head all of a sudden, but hey, no reason to complain -- I'll let it ride.
However, the common denominator that all their messages have is they mistake the slight difference between being attracted to someone (and the importance of pursuing her, etc.) and being "hung up" on looks. Indeed, we all know looks fade. Heck, even Halle is starting to look... well, older. It happens. You can't beat it. You can staple your face and inject botulism into your face as much as you want, you will age. Some worse than others. We know looks fade. That's that. As a matter of fact,
I've had a philosophy since high school that I will stick to for life: "looks are the bait, the spirit and character of a person is what hooks you". I live by that. My decisions in which women I have pursued over the past 12 years has been centered around that premise. Sure, you have some women who don't like it. That's fine. You can't please everyone, and after I went through what I did in high school with my skin, you BEST believe those days of being a slave to peoples' opinions are LONG gone.
(I could go on a tangent about how my swag has broken the swag-meter in recent years, since having to overcome what I did in high school is responsible for it, but I shant).
At any rate, the flipside of that corollary is what I want to focus on for a few lines.
I discussed how my personal philosophy has guided me in my choices in women. There was nothing wrong with them, they were "doing them" and not where they needed to be spiritually to be yoked with me, with the calling that God has on my life. I need a praying woman, a woman of strength who also is strong-willed and not a pushover. Conversely, I do not like having to summon up even more testosterone than the excessive amounts that drip off me as it is, while dealing with a bull-headed woman who likes to arga (argue), complain and manipulate 24/7. Not lumping any one group together, but that has been my experience.
Nevertheless, my question lately has been "why do women expect men to act as women do when it comes to selecting who they will date/allow into their hearts/marry? Women are "wired" differently than men. Women are designed to be perceptive, to examine and analyze everything, to DISCERN a person's spirit and character first -- and THEN, if looks are pleasant, it is the cherry on top. The problem is, in our out-of-order society in 2008, you have women doing the flipside -- only focusing on what a man can do for them, instead of looking to see how they can help a man who is doing something for himself.
Likewise, for men, you have a majority who focuses on NOTHING but looks and the size of a woman's breasts (I had a chick "correct" me the other day about my usage of the term "chick" -- when it is not synonymous with "slag" in my book -- not sure why she thought it was, but I digresss), the size/shape of her posterior region and all those other things that will sag once she hits 50. However, we knew this already, because you have far more women complaining about the shortcomings of men than you hear men complaining about women and their shortcomings (believe it or not, they DO have them!) Some guys know better than to go there, so they just be quiet.
However, my point is simply that men are designed to be hunters. We are to seek out what (in this case, a woman) is pleasing to us and pursue it (her) once we find it (her). You have to use your eyes to do this. You do not, as a man, perceive and know enough about her to discern whether she is a sheep or a wolf in sheep's clothing. Women are too slick and cunning to disguise the truth. Men aren't given to cunning and ruses to cover up an ulterior motive as women naturally are (it's true, like it or not). That's not to say that men don't do it, but women do it far more than men do.
Women can discern men's motives (and about each others', which is why trifling women don't try to run game on each other, since "game recognizes game"). No. As a man, you go off looks, which attract you, and then, in the course of getting to know her, you get to know more and more and decide with the information that you have gleaned whether she is who she porports herself to be. In essence, it is the flipside of what women are designed to do. Why so many women expect men to think and act as women do is beyond me. But I hope taht this shines some light on how men (not boys) think and what goes into our decision-making when it comes to pursuing women and our reasons for doing so.
Cheers.
As politically incorrect as I wanna be.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
But It's Not My Fault!
But It's Not My Fault!
By Valorie Burton
Author & Life Coach
The Lesson God Offers When Someone (or Something) Else Is to Blame
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
—Proverbs 19:11
Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which someone else created a problem and you are left to fix it? It can be extremely frustrating. Often it leads to a cycle of blaming and complaining. This week, I feel led to share a few words of inspiration for those areas of your life in which you feel like a victim of your circumstances.
You can be absolutely right—perhaps someone else is to blame, but blaming doesn't get you any closer to fixing a problem or overcoming a challenge. I have found that you can get to the other side of your challenge a lot more quickly if you change your focus:
Let go of blame and grudges, and forge ahead to do what you must do to resolve it.
We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we respond to it. One of the most important aspects of spiritual growth is shifting your focus to a solution rather than focusing on who is to blame.
When you blame others, you are essentially saying, "Other people determine my destiny. Others determine my happiness, my goals and my future." Whatever happens in your life, taking responsibility for it empowers you to learn and do better in the future.
Sometimes, as hard as it is to admit, others are not the only ones to blame. It is freeing to admit our own culpability in the problems we face. It's OK to be wrong or make a mistake sometimes. As humans, it's part of who we are—imperfect. Mistakes are often the best way to learn. Instead of trying to cover up or pretend that a mistake didn't happen or wasn't your fault, why not ask, "What could I do differently next time?"
When I wanted to write a book nine years ago, but never got around to it, I always blamed my business and a lack of time. But you know what? Blaming my schedule was useless. It didn't get the book written. Instead, it justified me not writing it. It wasn't until I got tired of blaming my schedule that I finally put pen to paper and wrote.
Be honest with yourself. Are you blaming someone or something for circumstances you don't like in your life? Do you find yourself blaming your employer for financial challenges because they don't pay you enough? Do you blame your family for problems? Do you blame the world for not opening doors of opportunity? Whether someone else is to blame for our circumstances or not, we don't move any closer to our goals by blaming and complaining. In fact, life is often waiting on us to simply accept responsibility, learn the lessons and exercise faith that God can help us change the circumstances. Perhaps that's the lesson He is offering you today: It doesn't really matter how you got to this point—whether in your finances, a relationship, your health or your work. What really matters is that you learned what you were meant to learn and that you persevere the next level on your journey.
My Challenge to You This Week:
Refuse to play the blame game. When you feel tempted to blame someone else, stop yourself and ask, "What responsibility do I have in this situation?" "What action would empower me to take control of the situation rather than being left feeling like a victim of circumstances?"
Journaling Assignment:
In what area of my life do I most need to accept responsibility and shift my focus to resolving an issue? How? What can I do differently?
Taken from Rich Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter. Written and distributed by Inspire, Inc. © 2008 Valorie Burton. All rights reserved. Used with permission. www.valorieburton.com.
Valorie Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, What's Really Holding You Back?, Why Not You? and her latest, How Did I Get So Busy?
By Valorie Burton
Author & Life Coach
The Lesson God Offers When Someone (or Something) Else Is to Blame
"A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
—Proverbs 19:11
Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which someone else created a problem and you are left to fix it? It can be extremely frustrating. Often it leads to a cycle of blaming and complaining. This week, I feel led to share a few words of inspiration for those areas of your life in which you feel like a victim of your circumstances.
You can be absolutely right—perhaps someone else is to blame, but blaming doesn't get you any closer to fixing a problem or overcoming a challenge. I have found that you can get to the other side of your challenge a lot more quickly if you change your focus:
Let go of blame and grudges, and forge ahead to do what you must do to resolve it.
We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we respond to it. One of the most important aspects of spiritual growth is shifting your focus to a solution rather than focusing on who is to blame.
When you blame others, you are essentially saying, "Other people determine my destiny. Others determine my happiness, my goals and my future." Whatever happens in your life, taking responsibility for it empowers you to learn and do better in the future.
Sometimes, as hard as it is to admit, others are not the only ones to blame. It is freeing to admit our own culpability in the problems we face. It's OK to be wrong or make a mistake sometimes. As humans, it's part of who we are—imperfect. Mistakes are often the best way to learn. Instead of trying to cover up or pretend that a mistake didn't happen or wasn't your fault, why not ask, "What could I do differently next time?"
When I wanted to write a book nine years ago, but never got around to it, I always blamed my business and a lack of time. But you know what? Blaming my schedule was useless. It didn't get the book written. Instead, it justified me not writing it. It wasn't until I got tired of blaming my schedule that I finally put pen to paper and wrote.
Be honest with yourself. Are you blaming someone or something for circumstances you don't like in your life? Do you find yourself blaming your employer for financial challenges because they don't pay you enough? Do you blame your family for problems? Do you blame the world for not opening doors of opportunity? Whether someone else is to blame for our circumstances or not, we don't move any closer to our goals by blaming and complaining. In fact, life is often waiting on us to simply accept responsibility, learn the lessons and exercise faith that God can help us change the circumstances. Perhaps that's the lesson He is offering you today: It doesn't really matter how you got to this point—whether in your finances, a relationship, your health or your work. What really matters is that you learned what you were meant to learn and that you persevere the next level on your journey.
My Challenge to You This Week:
Refuse to play the blame game. When you feel tempted to blame someone else, stop yourself and ask, "What responsibility do I have in this situation?" "What action would empower me to take control of the situation rather than being left feeling like a victim of circumstances?"
Journaling Assignment:
In what area of my life do I most need to accept responsibility and shift my focus to resolving an issue? How? What can I do differently?
Taken from Rich Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter. Written and distributed by Inspire, Inc. © 2008 Valorie Burton. All rights reserved. Used with permission. www.valorieburton.com.
Valorie Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, What's Really Holding You Back?, Why Not You? and her latest, How Did I Get So Busy?
Treasure The Gift
Treasure The Gift
When The Desires Come
By Kim Potter
I want to talk with you today about treasuring the gift God gives you. To you, that gift may be a husband or wife. It may be a child. It may be a new car. It may be a home or it may be finances, whatever that gift is - treasure it.
I heard a statement this morning that said 'God would be an unjust God if He gave us desires and didn't bring them to pass.' That is a true statement.
My little Bryson loves chocolate, if I were to sit a bowl of Hershey's mini bars out and forbid him to touch them - that would be cruel and unjust. It would be placing something he loves and has a desire for right in his face without allowing him to enjoy it. Our God is not like that. If He has give you a desire, He will bring it to pass.
That being said, all desires are not from God and only you and God know if the desire is from God. Generally you can find out if you have a godly desire by reading the word of God - if it lines up with the word it is generally a godly desire.
If you question if it is a godly desire, simply ask God to remove all desires from you that are not of Him. He will do it. I know, I have prayed that prayer. There were things in my life I thought I had to have - but as I continually ask God to remove all desires that are not from Him, some fell away.
BUT - if the desire is from God - it will be seen, it will come to pass, no doubt about it. For God is not an unjust God and if He has placed that desire in your heart - it will be seen in your life.
Now, when that desire is seen, treasure it. If you are praying for a new car, when that car comes, keep it clean - take good care of it. Always allow it to be a good representation of Gods gifts and blessings.
If you are praying for your marriage to be restored - begin now to treat that person as a treasure from God. Be patient and kind with them. Always lift them up by speaking well of them. Never speak down to them and never speak negative about them to others. Treasure them in public, for all to see. Show God that you treasure the gift He has given you.
Did you ask God for a child? If so, and you have a child, treasure that child. Never call that child stupid or make demeaning statements to them - they are a treasure from God - treat them as such.
If you ask God for a business - treasure that business. Work hard at its growth - be diligent each day. Treat customers the way God would have you treat them. Be honest - work with integrity - treasure the gift God has given you.
Did you ask for seed to sow? When God gives that money - sow the seed - don't go shopping and buy you some new shoes - sow the seed. Do with that gift what you purposed to do.
Or if you ask God for money to pay a bill - when the money comes, pay the bill - don't pay half of it and spend the rest - treasure the gift by doing what you said you would do.
God gives desires - God brings them to pass - then it is up to us what we do with them. If we treasure them, take good care of them - more desires will come and more treasures will come. If we don't - He will not send any more.
I always tell my daughter, if you want a new house, God requires you to take care of the one you have before He will consider giving you a better house. Or a car, some people pray for a new car or for their car payment, but they won't even keep the car they have clean. You may think that doesn't matter - but it does. Think about it.
If you give your child a new toy and he stomped on it and broke it - would you buy him another? No. Not until he learned to respect the things you gave him - then and only then would you continue to bless him.
So it is with us.
God has given you desires, you will see those desires come to pass - when you do, treasure them. If you want to keep the river of God flowing in your life - appreciate and respect and care for what He has already given you - it is a key to more desires coming to fruition in your life.
Whatever gifts you have been given - treasure them and He will bring more - it's up to you to keep that river of blessing flowing - and it's easy - just treasure the gifts.
When The Desires Come
By Kim Potter
I want to talk with you today about treasuring the gift God gives you. To you, that gift may be a husband or wife. It may be a child. It may be a new car. It may be a home or it may be finances, whatever that gift is - treasure it.
I heard a statement this morning that said 'God would be an unjust God if He gave us desires and didn't bring them to pass.' That is a true statement.
My little Bryson loves chocolate, if I were to sit a bowl of Hershey's mini bars out and forbid him to touch them - that would be cruel and unjust. It would be placing something he loves and has a desire for right in his face without allowing him to enjoy it. Our God is not like that. If He has give you a desire, He will bring it to pass.
That being said, all desires are not from God and only you and God know if the desire is from God. Generally you can find out if you have a godly desire by reading the word of God - if it lines up with the word it is generally a godly desire.
If you question if it is a godly desire, simply ask God to remove all desires from you that are not of Him. He will do it. I know, I have prayed that prayer. There were things in my life I thought I had to have - but as I continually ask God to remove all desires that are not from Him, some fell away.
BUT - if the desire is from God - it will be seen, it will come to pass, no doubt about it. For God is not an unjust God and if He has placed that desire in your heart - it will be seen in your life.
Now, when that desire is seen, treasure it. If you are praying for a new car, when that car comes, keep it clean - take good care of it. Always allow it to be a good representation of Gods gifts and blessings.
If you are praying for your marriage to be restored - begin now to treat that person as a treasure from God. Be patient and kind with them. Always lift them up by speaking well of them. Never speak down to them and never speak negative about them to others. Treasure them in public, for all to see. Show God that you treasure the gift He has given you.
Did you ask God for a child? If so, and you have a child, treasure that child. Never call that child stupid or make demeaning statements to them - they are a treasure from God - treat them as such.
If you ask God for a business - treasure that business. Work hard at its growth - be diligent each day. Treat customers the way God would have you treat them. Be honest - work with integrity - treasure the gift God has given you.
Did you ask for seed to sow? When God gives that money - sow the seed - don't go shopping and buy you some new shoes - sow the seed. Do with that gift what you purposed to do.
Or if you ask God for money to pay a bill - when the money comes, pay the bill - don't pay half of it and spend the rest - treasure the gift by doing what you said you would do.
God gives desires - God brings them to pass - then it is up to us what we do with them. If we treasure them, take good care of them - more desires will come and more treasures will come. If we don't - He will not send any more.
I always tell my daughter, if you want a new house, God requires you to take care of the one you have before He will consider giving you a better house. Or a car, some people pray for a new car or for their car payment, but they won't even keep the car they have clean. You may think that doesn't matter - but it does. Think about it.
If you give your child a new toy and he stomped on it and broke it - would you buy him another? No. Not until he learned to respect the things you gave him - then and only then would you continue to bless him.
So it is with us.
God has given you desires, you will see those desires come to pass - when you do, treasure them. If you want to keep the river of God flowing in your life - appreciate and respect and care for what He has already given you - it is a key to more desires coming to fruition in your life.
Whatever gifts you have been given - treasure them and He will bring more - it's up to you to keep that river of blessing flowing - and it's easy - just treasure the gifts.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
