NFL Week 3 Picks
By Michael D. Wright
9.19.08
Okay, we have some potential high-scoring affairs and a couple of potential snoozers coming up this week. However, I was wrong... DEAD WRONG on a couple of picks last week, so I'll just stick to what I can tell with the information I have as of 4PM EDT.
Week 3
Kansas City vs. Atlanta. Things are ugly for the Chiefs. Larry Johnson is already doing what most people do when they hit a tough stretch in a relationship -- he is ready to bail (see his thinly veiled pleas for a trade on YouTube). The Chiefs are on their third QB of the season, their third DIFFERENT QB starting a game this season. Indeed, the Chiefs had three different QBs play in their Week 2 loss to Oakland alone! The Chiefs have no running game whatsoever, they don't have receivers and they don't have a QB who can get them the ball consistently. Their defense, while not bad, stays on the field far too long to be effective.
The Falcons, on the other hand, can at least run the ball. Matt Ryan hasn't looked bad, since he is being thrown into the fire immediately out of college. The Falcons also still have John Abraham, who can get to the QB and Keith Brooking manning the middle of the field at Mike LB. This could very well be a blowout, but since it is the Falcons, I won't stretch it.
Call:
Kansas City 9
Atlanta 24
---
Oakland vs. Buffalo. The Bills are very good. Their 2-0 is not a fluke. The Raiders looked a little better in Week 2 after being blown to dust by the Broncos in Week 1. JaMarcus Russell has a LONG way to go, but the Raiders can definitely run the ball. Fargas seems to get 100 yds every game and Darren McFadden burst out with a 164-yd performance last week. While I do not believe either one of those RBs will approach those numbers vs. Buffalo, I still believe that as long as the offensive line for Oakland can give Russell time, that he can get the ball to Ronald Curry and Javon Walker (provided he plays). The Bills have a pretty decent offense, with Trent Edwards playing well at QB, Marshawn Lynch running the ball and Lee Evans being the deep threat. I see Buffalo ekeing this one out.
Call:
Oakland 27
Buffalo 31
---
Tampa Bay vs. Chicago. I still believe the Bears are overrated. Too much has been made of their "win" vs. Indianapolis in Week 1. Manning was rusty and so is the offensive line, missing LT Tony Ugoh and C Jeff Saturday. The Bears have discovered a RB in Matt Forte, but I dare anyone to name their WRs. The Bears play solid defense, don't give up too many points and occasionally score on defense themselves. No wonder, given that Chicago's head coach, Lovie Smith, was an assistant coach under current Tampa Bay defensive coordinator, Monte Kiffin. Tampa (Gruden, that is) doesn't know who to make QB week to week. Earnest Graham rushed for over 100 yards last week, but I doubt that he does that this week. WHOEVER the Bucs' QB is, he will have to be precise out there. Ronde Barber is still a ballhawk and Brian Kelly, who gets burned a lot, still makes a lot of plays in run support. Old man Derrick Brooks is still the best LB that the Bucs have and he still flies to the ball. This should be a very good game for those who like defense.
Call:
Tampa Bay 17
Chicago 13
---
Carolina vs. Minnesota. Well, the Black Cats get "Steven" Smith back this week. They have hardly missed him, but let's not be frivolous; the Panthers are MUCH BETTER with Smith in the lineup. Jake Delhomme has been accurate and making most of the throws. Muhsin Muhammad being back in Charlotte helps open things up for Smith on the other side. Combine the passing attack with the one-two punch of DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart, and the Panthers look a lot like the team that went to the Super Bowl in 2003. I know you have the Williams boys in the middle of Minnesota's defense, but both Panthers' backs have the speed to get outside (along with the linemen who can kick out and pull in order to set up blocks out in space).
Minnesota is benching QB Tavaris Jackson. While he could have played better thus far, the fans have been relentless with their (largely) unnecessary boos. Instead of supporting the QB that head coach Brad Childress believes in, they booed him after every incomplete pass, every three and out series and every turnover, even when they were not his fault. Gus Frerotte is no savior, but he doesn't make the number of mental errors that Jackson makes. The Vikings also have a potent running game, second to the Giants' in caliber. Adrian Peterson is questionable as of 4 PM EDT on Friday. Chester Taylor, while a 1,200+ back himself, is no A.D. Could be a long day for Minny if the Panthers come out guns ablaze.
Call:
Carolina 35
Minnesota 24
---
Miami vs. New England. Does the other shoe finally drop on the Patriots this week? Nah (as much as I would like for it to do so). Cassel doesn't make mistakes. Their offense goes as WRs Randy Moss and Wes Welker go. RB Laurence Maroney isn't a game-changer, because he doesn't get enough touches to do so. RB Kevin Faulk is the ex-factor in this game. Miami does not have a single solitary soul who can cover him in space. While the Patriots' defense is aging and creaky, they seem to find a way to get it done.
Miami is still atrocious, but most people would agree that this was going to be a rebuilding year for the Dolphins, with the expectation of only winning 3-5 games as a projected outcome. They don't do anything well at this point.
Call:
Miami 6
New England 28
---
Cincinnati vs. New York Giants. The Bengals are the worst team in the AFC. And that is a shame, given the amount of talent they have. I believe that's what gets them this ranking. Oakland, Kansas City and Miami are all in rebuild mode, while the Bengals are proving the the New York Knicks aren't the only professional sports team that can have boatloads of talent and not win.
The Giants will get after QB Carson Palmer all day, force a couple of INTs and rack up about a half dozen sacks, which is what they do every other week or so. The Bengals' defense is a sick joke as well. With the Giants possessing the best running game in the NFC, if not the entire NFL, this could get out of hand early.
Call:
Cincinnati 10
NY Giants 41
---
Houston vs. Tennessee. Hmmmm... old Oilers that moved from Houston to new Houston franchise. I think Week 1 was a fluke for the Texans. They are not a bad team at all, and Pittsburgh, with their smoke and mirrors, aren't as good as that Week 1 beatdown vs. Houston made them look. Tennessee plays great defense and aside from QB Vince Young's injuries and off-the-field woes, the Titans are very good. I look for a breakout game for QB Matt Schaub and WR Andre Johnson, though. Johnson should have a field day vs. the Titans' CBs, unless DT Albert Haynesworth and DE Kyle Vanden Bosch spend all day in the Texans' backfield. They are a formidable duo, but we will definitely see what's really good with both teams after this one. I have it as a nailbiter.
Call:
Houston 27
Tennessee 25 (2 pt. conversion no good)
---
Arizona vs. Washington. People ask if the Cardinals are for real. I say they are. They would've made the playoffs if they didn't have that overrated CAREER BACKUP by the name of Matt Leinart in there blowing close games. QB Kurt Warner isn't what he once was with the Rams, but he still gets it done (see his last 10 games dating back to last season). With WRs Anquan Boldin (FROM?!?!) and Larry Fitzgerald putting up Pro Bowl numbers perennially, you just need a QB who can get the ball to them. Warner does that. RB Edgerrin James gets his yards here and there and will end up with about 1,200 "quiet" yards this year. The real eye-opener for the Cards is how TOUCH they are on defense. DT Darnell Dockett (FROM?!?!), LB Karlos Dansby and CBs Antrel Rolle (FROM?!?! The U.) and Adrian Wilson (FROM?!?! High Point, NC!) they are not a mirage.
The Redskins, even after their "fortunate win" vs. a beat up New Orleans team last week are still going to be bad for the first half of the season. QB Jason Campbell and RB Clinton Portis will be feeling some serious pains on Monday. Indeed, Portis got into it with a local Washington, DC sports talk guy this week. Portis is already looking like a wounded lion, then he unleashes on this radio guy. Hmmm.
Call:
Arizona 38
Washington 28
---
Detroit vs. San Francisco. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...
Call:
Detroit 17
San Francisco 12
---
St. Louis vs. Seattle. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ... (aren't all the NFC West teams aside from Arizona terrible?)
Call:
St. Louis ZZZ
Seattle ZZZ
Nah,
St. Louis 17
Seattle 21
---
New Orleans vs. Denver. I don't know to make of QB Jay Cutler. I still think he's overrated. No one outside of Denver can name their WRs. I only know their names because I follow all the teams. They are very good, but the Broncos' change in philosophy from running the ball 60% of the time has been overhauled. Now they are passing it about 65% of the time. Hey, it's working for them. Why change?
The Saints are beat up in their secondary. They are also missing WR Marques Colston, who took a helmet to the forearm after making a catch in front of CB Ronde Barber in Week 1. QB Drew Brees still has weapons in Shockey and Henderson, as well as Reggie Bush out in space, but this is a tough game to pick.
I think the Broncos showed more moxie in "beating" San Diego in Week 2 (even though Ed Hochuli, my favorite referee, gave them the game) than New Orleans did in losing to Washington in Week 2. I give the slight edge to Denver.
Call:
New Orleans 34
Denver 38
---
Pittsburgh vs. Philadelphia. The Battle For Pennsylvania? I don't think the Eagles are that good. They are a game or two better than I picked them originally (6-10), but Dallas' defense isn't that good, so those 37 they hung on the Cowboys are rather empty in the grand scheme of things. If they can put up HALF of that vs. the Steelers, I'd be convinced. As for right now, two costly sacks and a killer fumble by McNabb vs. Dallas shows that most leopards cannot change their spots. Add in a couple of his patented skip-passes that bounce 5 feet in front of an open receiver and you have a LONG day for Iggles fans.
Call:
Pittsburgh 31
Philadelphia 21
---
Jacksonville vs. Indianapolis. This is the game I want to see. The Jaguars usually give Peyton Manning fits. But losing DT Marcus Stroud to Buffalo has set the Jags' defense back a step or two. They're above average, but they rarely make big plays. They are more of a bend-but-don't break defense. Manning and the Colts' offense should be better in tune for this game. The first two games saw RB Joseph Addai rush for an alarmingly low 64 yards total on nearly 30 carries. That won't get it done, even with Manning at QB. The Colts are about to experience another setback with S Bob Sanders suffering his annual 4-6 week visit to the injury list. In the past, whenever he has been out, the Colts' defense looks like toy soldiers. Given that the Jaguwires throw RBs Fred Taylor, Maurice Jones-Drew and FB Greg Jones (remember Dexter Reid, Aug. 30, 2003 vs. FSU LOL -- look it up on YouTube) at you and it could be a very long day for the Colts. Since the Jags don't score much and Garrard has thrown the same number of INTs this year (3) as he did all of last year, it's safe to say that these aren't the Jags from last year. I still have the Colts winning somehow in the end. But it will be close.
Call:
Jacksonville 24
Indianapolis 28
---
Cleveland vs. Baltimore. On paper, the Browns are much better than the Ravens. Inside my TV set, they look awful. How can this be? They have Jamal Lewis running the ball. They have QB Derek Anderson getting the ball to TE Kellen Winslow and WR Braylon "Butterfingers" Edwards, who I swear is related to Kwame Brown. I don't get it. The Ravens are starting a rookie QB in Joe Flacco (FROM?!?! Delaware Blue Hens!) and Willis McGahee has been out. The defense is old and not as formidable as they were from 1999-2005. They are still good, though. If they bring enough heat to Anderson and force him to make bad throws, Ed Reed could have a field day at safety, so could CB Samari Rolle (FROM?!?!?!)
Call:
Cleveland 23
Baltimore 28
---
Dallas vs. Green Bay. We will see what Aaron Rodgers is made of in this game. Again, Dallas' defense is overrated. Their offense is NOT, however. Rodgers should be able to get the ball to his WRs and has to hope that RB Ryan Grant is 100%. The Cowboys can blow anyone out of any game on the strength of their offense alone. It will be important for the Packers to establish the run, because the Cowboys have a bona fide BEAST in Marion Barber back there, along with rookie Felix Jones.
Matchup to watch: WR Terrell Owens vs. CBs Al Harris and/or Charles Woodson. Harris usually plays Owens, but Owens moves to both sides of the field. Whether Harris shifts with him remains to be seen. I don't see either one of them stopping Owens, however.
Add to that, the Cowboys' running game vs. an average Packer defense...
Dallas 34
Green Bay 28
---
New York Jets vs. San Diego. The Chargers should very well be 2-0. A fluke play at the end of Week 1 vs. Carolina and Ed Hochuli's Broncos getting new life to score at the last second in Week 2 is the only difference between them being a 2-0 and 0-2 team. The Jets aren't very good. Whether they come on late in the season remains to be seen, but if they were unable to muster more than 10 points vs. the Patriots, they'll be hard-pressed to do anything more vs. the Chargers.
RB LaDainian Tomlinson has been slowed by a toe, OLB Shawne Merriman is out for the year and the defense looked discombobulated vs. Denver. I expect that to change with the Jets. Although the Jets have decent WRs in Jerricho Cotchery and Laveranues Coles, they don't have favorable matchups vs. CBs Quentin Jammer and Antonio Cromartie. If the Jets WRs aren't open, QB Brett Favre will DEFINITELY try to force it in. I see him throwing at least 2 INTs in this game, breaking the Jets' collective backs.
Call:
NY Jets 17
San Diego 38
Feel free to comment here up through Monday Night and check back to see how my picks turned out in Week 3!
As politically incorrect as I wanna be.
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Best Is Yet to Come
The Best Is Yet to Come
By Cliff Young
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
The expectation of summer was always an exciting time for me as a child. My dad would get tickets to a baseball game and I would stare at those colored pieces of paper for weeks thinking about the game, dreaming of catching a foul ball or meeting one of my heroes.
The anticipation was almost as good as the game itself because I could envision any outcome or situation that I wanted. The sky was the limit! Even as the final innings of the game approached, there was always another game I could dream about—this gave me a hope for the future and something I could hold onto.
Today, many of us have lost a childlike eagerness for the future and we find it difficult to live free of feelings of trepidation. Economic instability, housing foreclosures, rising gas prices, national security issues, unemployment, aging parents and (for some) singleness leads us to believe our best days are over. As a result, we tend to approach each day worried and anxious. The Bible addresses these thoughts that we battle.
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself (Matthew 6:34).
Nearly every occurrence of the word worry in the (NIV) Bible is preceded by do not. Throughout the Old Testament and New Testament, Scripture tells us do not worry. It is a command for us to follow. Why? Worrying doesn’t help, it causes further personal problems, and it shows a lack of trust in God.
Worrying Doesn’t Help
Jesus asks, ‘Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?’ (Matthew 6:27).
Jesus posed this question during his Sermon on the Mount, and those teachings from the first century apply to us today. He gives us instruction on how to face anger, adultery, divorce, revenge, enemies, prayer, money and possessions—not by worrying, but by shining your light, trusting the Lord, repenting of your sins, reconciling with or confronting those who sinned against you (or who you’ve sinned against), loving and giving to your neighbor, coming clean before God, praying, and carrying out the vows you have made to the Lord. Nowhere does he call us to worry.
I have found that worrying about my work, finances, relationships, and future solves nothing! I fail to see or find any solution by focusing on what might happen instead of focusing on the problems themselves.
Worrying Cause Further Personal Problems
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.
— Corrie Ten Boom
I only thought that worrying could cause gray hair; however, I have learned there is an actual medical condition for worrying as well.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – excessive and unreasonable worry over events or activities, such as work, school or health; inability to control or stop worrying; causes fatigue, tension headaches, sleep troubles or muscle aches.
Worrying is the basis of all sorts of medical conditions from stress to depression, and the medical community is still discovering further ramifications of worrying and living with anxiety. At the very least, worrying causes physical and emotional discomfort. At the very worst, it breaks our fellowship with God. Worry not only adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed where it weakens you emotionally, but it can also debilitate our spirit and weakens our confidence in God. However, the Bible gives us encouragement to walk through our struggles.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).
Worrying Shows a Lack of Trust in God
Look at the birds. They don’t need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are (Matthew 6:26).
And why worry about your clothes? Look at the lilies and how they grow. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you? You have so little faith! (Matthew 6: 28, 30).
When I read these passages, I feel as if Jesus is speaking directly to me. I am reminded of my lack of faith and trust in Him when it comes to giving Him all of my thoughts, concerns and worries. When I choose to struggle on my own without first seeking Jesus, my pride is revealed in thinking I can do it myself or do it better.
If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God wants you to do—ask Him, and He will gladly tell you (James 1:5).
I have often been told that I don’t have because I don’t ask. I struggle with asking anybody for anything because I don’t want to bother someone, don’t want to seem needy, or don’t want to be seen as weak. I often do the same with God and that shows a lack of trust.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).
What Can I Do About Worry and Anxiety?
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).
I love the simplicity of God’s Word.
Don’t worry about anything. Pray about everything.
Prayer should not be a foreign act. It should be more common to us than texting, e-mailing or calling a friend. It should be the first thing, the last thing and everything in between when facing anything in our lives. Everything we do or plan should be bathed in prayer.
Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
God, through Jesus, has given us a direct line to Him. There is no one we need to go through, go around, or make an appointment with. God asks us to tell Him what we need and give thanks for all He has done. Prayer is not a ritual or some esoteric event. It is simply a child asking his Father for what he needs.
You will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Who wouldn’t want to experience a peace that is more wonderful than we can imagine? How much better is this peace compared to the stress that worry brings? If we make it all about Him instead of making it all about us, what is there to worry about?
Singer, songwriter Scott Krippayne wrote these words in his song, “The Best Is Yet to Come” …
The race is long, sometimes I stumble, He helps me up, each time I fall
And I lose hope, He gives me courage, so I press on, and give my all
And I know I never have to run alone, and I can hardly wait to make it home
The best is yet to come the promise when heaven awaits
I finally see my Lord and Savior face to face
For He has set me free for all eternity when my life on earth is done, the best is yet to come
In every joy, in every trial, I need to keep, my eyes on Him
He is the way, my sole provider, no matter how the road may bend
When earth’s big treasures cloud my point of view, He reminds me that I’m only passing through
The best is yet to come the promise when heaven awaits
I finally see my Lord and Savior face to face
For He has set me free for all eternity when my life on earth is done, the best is yet to come
Nothing can compare to what’s in store, when we will join the angels singing “Holy is the Lord”
It is not easy to have an optimistic outlook in the midst of financial challenges, personal struggles, tough decisions and loneliness; however, we must believe and have faith that the best really is yet to come. It is God’s promise to us.
For surely you have a future ahead of you; your hope will not be disappointed (Proverbs 23:18).
Where do you place your hope when you choose to worry? Do you place it in yourself, in your strength? Or do you place it in the One who promises you eternal life? Your hope will never be disappointed if you place it in God.
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33).
Cliff Young is a contributing writer to Sandlot Stories (ARose Books), as well as the monthly column, He Said-She Said, in Crosswalk.com's Singles Channel. An architect and former youth worker, he now works with Christian musicians and consults for a number of Christian ministries. Got feedback? Send your comments and questions to CYdmg@yahoo.com.
By Cliff Young
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
The expectation of summer was always an exciting time for me as a child. My dad would get tickets to a baseball game and I would stare at those colored pieces of paper for weeks thinking about the game, dreaming of catching a foul ball or meeting one of my heroes.
The anticipation was almost as good as the game itself because I could envision any outcome or situation that I wanted. The sky was the limit! Even as the final innings of the game approached, there was always another game I could dream about—this gave me a hope for the future and something I could hold onto.
Today, many of us have lost a childlike eagerness for the future and we find it difficult to live free of feelings of trepidation. Economic instability, housing foreclosures, rising gas prices, national security issues, unemployment, aging parents and (for some) singleness leads us to believe our best days are over. As a result, we tend to approach each day worried and anxious. The Bible addresses these thoughts that we battle.
Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself (Matthew 6:34).
Nearly every occurrence of the word worry in the (NIV) Bible is preceded by do not. Throughout the Old Testament and New Testament, Scripture tells us do not worry. It is a command for us to follow. Why? Worrying doesn’t help, it causes further personal problems, and it shows a lack of trust in God.
Worrying Doesn’t Help
Jesus asks, ‘Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?’ (Matthew 6:27).
Jesus posed this question during his Sermon on the Mount, and those teachings from the first century apply to us today. He gives us instruction on how to face anger, adultery, divorce, revenge, enemies, prayer, money and possessions—not by worrying, but by shining your light, trusting the Lord, repenting of your sins, reconciling with or confronting those who sinned against you (or who you’ve sinned against), loving and giving to your neighbor, coming clean before God, praying, and carrying out the vows you have made to the Lord. Nowhere does he call us to worry.
I have found that worrying about my work, finances, relationships, and future solves nothing! I fail to see or find any solution by focusing on what might happen instead of focusing on the problems themselves.
Worrying Cause Further Personal Problems
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.
— Corrie Ten Boom
I only thought that worrying could cause gray hair; however, I have learned there is an actual medical condition for worrying as well.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – excessive and unreasonable worry over events or activities, such as work, school or health; inability to control or stop worrying; causes fatigue, tension headaches, sleep troubles or muscle aches.
Worrying is the basis of all sorts of medical conditions from stress to depression, and the medical community is still discovering further ramifications of worrying and living with anxiety. At the very least, worrying causes physical and emotional discomfort. At the very worst, it breaks our fellowship with God. Worry not only adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed where it weakens you emotionally, but it can also debilitate our spirit and weakens our confidence in God. However, the Bible gives us encouragement to walk through our struggles.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going. Through suffering, these bodies of ours constantly share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies (2 Corinthians 4:8-10).
Worrying Shows a Lack of Trust in God
Look at the birds. They don’t need to plant or harvest or put food in barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are (Matthew 6:26).
And why worry about your clothes? Look at the lilies and how they grow. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won’t he more surely care for you? You have so little faith! (Matthew 6: 28, 30).
When I read these passages, I feel as if Jesus is speaking directly to me. I am reminded of my lack of faith and trust in Him when it comes to giving Him all of my thoughts, concerns and worries. When I choose to struggle on my own without first seeking Jesus, my pride is revealed in thinking I can do it myself or do it better.
If you need wisdom—if you want to know what God wants you to do—ask Him, and He will gladly tell you (James 1:5).
I have often been told that I don’t have because I don’t ask. I struggle with asking anybody for anything because I don’t want to bother someone, don’t want to seem needy, or don’t want to be seen as weak. I often do the same with God and that shows a lack of trust.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).
What Can I Do About Worry and Anxiety?
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6-7).
I love the simplicity of God’s Word.
Don’t worry about anything. Pray about everything.
Prayer should not be a foreign act. It should be more common to us than texting, e-mailing or calling a friend. It should be the first thing, the last thing and everything in between when facing anything in our lives. Everything we do or plan should be bathed in prayer.
Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
God, through Jesus, has given us a direct line to Him. There is no one we need to go through, go around, or make an appointment with. God asks us to tell Him what we need and give thanks for all He has done. Prayer is not a ritual or some esoteric event. It is simply a child asking his Father for what he needs.
You will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Who wouldn’t want to experience a peace that is more wonderful than we can imagine? How much better is this peace compared to the stress that worry brings? If we make it all about Him instead of making it all about us, what is there to worry about?
Singer, songwriter Scott Krippayne wrote these words in his song, “The Best Is Yet to Come” …
The race is long, sometimes I stumble, He helps me up, each time I fall
And I lose hope, He gives me courage, so I press on, and give my all
And I know I never have to run alone, and I can hardly wait to make it home
The best is yet to come the promise when heaven awaits
I finally see my Lord and Savior face to face
For He has set me free for all eternity when my life on earth is done, the best is yet to come
In every joy, in every trial, I need to keep, my eyes on Him
He is the way, my sole provider, no matter how the road may bend
When earth’s big treasures cloud my point of view, He reminds me that I’m only passing through
The best is yet to come the promise when heaven awaits
I finally see my Lord and Savior face to face
For He has set me free for all eternity when my life on earth is done, the best is yet to come
Nothing can compare to what’s in store, when we will join the angels singing “Holy is the Lord”
It is not easy to have an optimistic outlook in the midst of financial challenges, personal struggles, tough decisions and loneliness; however, we must believe and have faith that the best really is yet to come. It is God’s promise to us.
For surely you have a future ahead of you; your hope will not be disappointed (Proverbs 23:18).
Where do you place your hope when you choose to worry? Do you place it in yourself, in your strength? Or do you place it in the One who promises you eternal life? Your hope will never be disappointed if you place it in God.
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world (John 16:33).
Cliff Young is a contributing writer to Sandlot Stories (ARose Books), as well as the monthly column, He Said-She Said, in Crosswalk.com's Singles Channel. An architect and former youth worker, he now works with Christian musicians and consults for a number of Christian ministries. Got feedback? Send your comments and questions to CYdmg@yahoo.com.
Why Living Together Before Marriage Doesn't Work
Why Living Together Before Marriage Doesn't Work
By Mike & Harriet McManus
Authors, Living Together
No group is more supportive of living together—despite evidence that four out of five couples who begin cohabiting will not build a lasting marriage—than the young. While 90 percent of teenagers believe in marriage, they view cohabitation as a stepping-stone in the relationship—a good way to get know their partner and avoid a future divorce. Sixty-nine percent say they “approve” of couples “living together before they get married.” They say, “If things don’t work out, we can chalk it up to experience and move on. At least we will have learned something about ourselves and marriage.”
Pamela Smock, Ph.D., a sociologist at the University of Michigan, writes: “Common sense suggests that premarital cohabitation should provide an opportunity for couples to learn about each other, strengthen their bonds, and increase their chances for a successful marriage. . . . The evidence, however, suggests just the opposite. Premarital cohabitation tends to be associated with lower marital quality and to increase the risk of divorce, even after taking into account of variables known to be associated with divorce. . . . The degree of consensus about this central finding is impressive.”
What starts as lower levels of commitment among those who choose to cohabit eventually translates into lower levels of relationship happiness both before and after the wedding, if there is a wedding. This outcome will come as a surprise to men who insist on living with a woman before considering marriage. The truth is, instead of improving their odds of success, they unwittingly improve their odds of failure.
Why is the divorce rate so much higher for couples who marry after cohabiting? Two theories have credence.
1. The “Selection Effect”
The first theory, put forth by Dr. Bumpass, is the “selection effect.” Those who live together before marriage differ substantially from those who do not, and those differences increase the likelihood of marital instability for former cohabitors. Cohabitors tend to be less educated. For example, cohabiting women are twice as likely to be high-school dropouts than college graduates. Cohabitors also tend to have nontraditional values and attitudes.
They are less likely to be religious and more likely to dismiss advice to remain chaste before marriage. They are more likely to be children of divorce. They are less committed to marriage and, when troubles arise, more open to divorce.
The problem with this theory is that most high-school dropouts in 1960 didn’t cohabit before they married, nor did the less religious nor the more liberal. It simply was not done. Additionally, few of their parents had divorced.
What has changed the culture so dramatically? The Sexual Revolution. When the birth control pill was introduced, the perceived dangers of premarital sex were lessened and the era of “free love” was ushered in. Premarital sexual activity brought less of a stigma; it actually became a badge of honor and a sign of modernity. Eventually sex without the bonds of marriage became accepted as the norm. The “Playboy Philosophy,” popularized by Hugh Hefner, promoted consensual sex anywhere, anytime, with anyone. Widespread cohabitation is the logical outgrowth of such a societal frame of reference.
2. The Cohabitation Effect
The other, more probable, theory to explain why living together dooms so many marriages is that the experience of cohabiting changes young adults in ways that increase their chances of divorce. The very act of cohabiting, with its casual, impermanent bonding, diminishes respect for commitment, especially the till-death-do-us-part vows of marriage.
As Pamela Smock notes: “Through cohabitation people learn about and come to accept the temporary nature of relationships and in particular that there are alternatives to marriage.” She cites a study showing that living together between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three “significantly alters young men’s and women’s attitudes toward marriage and divorce.” It changes “people’s attitudes in ways that make them more prone to divorce.”
But cohabitation changes even more than people’s perspectives on marriage and divorce. It seems to dramatically affect the way people view and respond to their partners. Dr. Catherine Cohan of Pennsylvania State University explained to Reuters Health what she observed in yet another eye-opening study comparing the marriages of people who had cohabited with those who had not: “Those people who lived together were more negative and less positive when resolving a marital problem and when providing support to their partner.” She found that even those who cohabited for just one month before marriage actually displayed poorer communication and problem-solving skills than those who did not live together.
According to Dr. Cohan’s report, coauthored with Stacey Kleinbaum, in the February 2002 issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family, 60 percent of test subjects who had cohabited before marriage were more verbally aggressive, less supportive of one another, and more hostile than the 40 percent of spouses who had not lived together.
Researchers visited the couples at home, interviewed partners separately, and then videotaped two fi fteen-minute sessions, in the absence of the interviewer, in which the partners sought to solve a problem that had been selected by each from a list that included sex, money, children, housework, career, and religion. The videotapes revealed that couples who had first lived together displayed more negative behavior than those who had not. Husbands who had cohabited, for example, were more likely to attempt to control their wives, while the wives were more verbally aggressive.
Cohan and Kleinbaum concluded that couples who live together before marriage enter the relationship with lower commitment. It takes a higher level of commitment to marry than to cohabit. “The open-ended nature of the relationship may cause them to be less motivated to develop their conflict resolution and support skills.”
The researchers said those who cohabited were not doomed to divorce but did have “poorer communication skills” than those who remained separate until the wedding. Cohan added, “I can say, however, there’s nothing in the research that says living together helps people in the long run.”
People who cohabit seem to lose respect for themselves and for their partner, while those who form a household only after marriage have inherently higher self-respect and respect for their spouse.
Cohabitation is a supercharged engine producing dissatisfied couples and, as a result, more divorces—thus contributing to and sustaining America’s high divorce rate.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From LIVING TOGETHER by Mike McManus and Harriet McManus. Copyright (c) 2008 by Michael J. McManus and Harriet E. McManus. Reprinted by permission of Howard Publishing, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike McManus is a Duke graduate who was Time's youngest correspondent in 1963. He has been a nationally syndicated columnist since 1977, whose award-winning "Ethics & Religion" column is published weekly. Mike's book Marriage Savers inspired clergy to create Community Marriage Policies that have reduced divorce and cohabitation rates in more than one hundred cities. He and his wife, Harriet, cofounded Marriage Savers, Inc., to help clergy better prepare, enrich, and restore marriages. They have personally mentored fifty-seven couples preparing for marriage.
Harriet McManus married Mike in 1965. She was the first editor of Marriage Savers and Mikes other books and is editor of Mike's columns. Together they have initiated a premarital marriage ministry in their church, Fourth Presbyterian in Bethesda, Maryland, and they pioneered the training of Mentor Couples to administer a premarital inventory. She works full-time for Marriage Savers as a writer, editor, and trainer. She and Mike have three sons and six grandchildren.
By Mike & Harriet McManus
Authors, Living Together
No group is more supportive of living together—despite evidence that four out of five couples who begin cohabiting will not build a lasting marriage—than the young. While 90 percent of teenagers believe in marriage, they view cohabitation as a stepping-stone in the relationship—a good way to get know their partner and avoid a future divorce. Sixty-nine percent say they “approve” of couples “living together before they get married.” They say, “If things don’t work out, we can chalk it up to experience and move on. At least we will have learned something about ourselves and marriage.”
Pamela Smock, Ph.D., a sociologist at the University of Michigan, writes: “Common sense suggests that premarital cohabitation should provide an opportunity for couples to learn about each other, strengthen their bonds, and increase their chances for a successful marriage. . . . The evidence, however, suggests just the opposite. Premarital cohabitation tends to be associated with lower marital quality and to increase the risk of divorce, even after taking into account of variables known to be associated with divorce. . . . The degree of consensus about this central finding is impressive.”
What starts as lower levels of commitment among those who choose to cohabit eventually translates into lower levels of relationship happiness both before and after the wedding, if there is a wedding. This outcome will come as a surprise to men who insist on living with a woman before considering marriage. The truth is, instead of improving their odds of success, they unwittingly improve their odds of failure.
Why is the divorce rate so much higher for couples who marry after cohabiting? Two theories have credence.
1. The “Selection Effect”
The first theory, put forth by Dr. Bumpass, is the “selection effect.” Those who live together before marriage differ substantially from those who do not, and those differences increase the likelihood of marital instability for former cohabitors. Cohabitors tend to be less educated. For example, cohabiting women are twice as likely to be high-school dropouts than college graduates. Cohabitors also tend to have nontraditional values and attitudes.
They are less likely to be religious and more likely to dismiss advice to remain chaste before marriage. They are more likely to be children of divorce. They are less committed to marriage and, when troubles arise, more open to divorce.
The problem with this theory is that most high-school dropouts in 1960 didn’t cohabit before they married, nor did the less religious nor the more liberal. It simply was not done. Additionally, few of their parents had divorced.
What has changed the culture so dramatically? The Sexual Revolution. When the birth control pill was introduced, the perceived dangers of premarital sex were lessened and the era of “free love” was ushered in. Premarital sexual activity brought less of a stigma; it actually became a badge of honor and a sign of modernity. Eventually sex without the bonds of marriage became accepted as the norm. The “Playboy Philosophy,” popularized by Hugh Hefner, promoted consensual sex anywhere, anytime, with anyone. Widespread cohabitation is the logical outgrowth of such a societal frame of reference.
2. The Cohabitation Effect
The other, more probable, theory to explain why living together dooms so many marriages is that the experience of cohabiting changes young adults in ways that increase their chances of divorce. The very act of cohabiting, with its casual, impermanent bonding, diminishes respect for commitment, especially the till-death-do-us-part vows of marriage.
As Pamela Smock notes: “Through cohabitation people learn about and come to accept the temporary nature of relationships and in particular that there are alternatives to marriage.” She cites a study showing that living together between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three “significantly alters young men’s and women’s attitudes toward marriage and divorce.” It changes “people’s attitudes in ways that make them more prone to divorce.”
But cohabitation changes even more than people’s perspectives on marriage and divorce. It seems to dramatically affect the way people view and respond to their partners. Dr. Catherine Cohan of Pennsylvania State University explained to Reuters Health what she observed in yet another eye-opening study comparing the marriages of people who had cohabited with those who had not: “Those people who lived together were more negative and less positive when resolving a marital problem and when providing support to their partner.” She found that even those who cohabited for just one month before marriage actually displayed poorer communication and problem-solving skills than those who did not live together.
According to Dr. Cohan’s report, coauthored with Stacey Kleinbaum, in the February 2002 issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family, 60 percent of test subjects who had cohabited before marriage were more verbally aggressive, less supportive of one another, and more hostile than the 40 percent of spouses who had not lived together.
Researchers visited the couples at home, interviewed partners separately, and then videotaped two fi fteen-minute sessions, in the absence of the interviewer, in which the partners sought to solve a problem that had been selected by each from a list that included sex, money, children, housework, career, and religion. The videotapes revealed that couples who had first lived together displayed more negative behavior than those who had not. Husbands who had cohabited, for example, were more likely to attempt to control their wives, while the wives were more verbally aggressive.
Cohan and Kleinbaum concluded that couples who live together before marriage enter the relationship with lower commitment. It takes a higher level of commitment to marry than to cohabit. “The open-ended nature of the relationship may cause them to be less motivated to develop their conflict resolution and support skills.”
The researchers said those who cohabited were not doomed to divorce but did have “poorer communication skills” than those who remained separate until the wedding. Cohan added, “I can say, however, there’s nothing in the research that says living together helps people in the long run.”
People who cohabit seem to lose respect for themselves and for their partner, while those who form a household only after marriage have inherently higher self-respect and respect for their spouse.
Cohabitation is a supercharged engine producing dissatisfied couples and, as a result, more divorces—thus contributing to and sustaining America’s high divorce rate.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From LIVING TOGETHER by Mike McManus and Harriet McManus. Copyright (c) 2008 by Michael J. McManus and Harriet E. McManus. Reprinted by permission of Howard Publishing, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike McManus is a Duke graduate who was Time's youngest correspondent in 1963. He has been a nationally syndicated columnist since 1977, whose award-winning "Ethics & Religion" column is published weekly. Mike's book Marriage Savers inspired clergy to create Community Marriage Policies that have reduced divorce and cohabitation rates in more than one hundred cities. He and his wife, Harriet, cofounded Marriage Savers, Inc., to help clergy better prepare, enrich, and restore marriages. They have personally mentored fifty-seven couples preparing for marriage.
Harriet McManus married Mike in 1965. She was the first editor of Marriage Savers and Mikes other books and is editor of Mike's columns. Together they have initiated a premarital marriage ministry in their church, Fourth Presbyterian in Bethesda, Maryland, and they pioneered the training of Mentor Couples to administer a premarital inventory. She works full-time for Marriage Savers as a writer, editor, and trainer. She and Mike have three sons and six grandchildren.
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