NFL Week 14: Downtown Express - No Local Service Edition
M.D. Wright
12.4.08
I have been STUPID busy this week, four papers down, three more to go, three study sessions and four finals in three days next week. I apologize if my picks go by like the NYSE crawl.
Thursday Night Game
Oakland Raiders vs. San Diego Chargers
Qualcomm Stadium
San Diego, California
*THURSDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL*
The Raiders have shown flashes under Cable, but they've been extreme flashes. They beat Denver just two weeks ago, but that was sandwiched between two very bad losses (as Raider losses go). The Chargers can ONLY make the playoffs if Denver goes 1-2 or 0-3 in their next two games -- and then they beat Denver. Chargers win.
Call:
Oakland 6
San Diego 31
---
Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Chicago Bears
Soldier Field
Chicago, Illinois
The Jags are listless. They just got stomped by Houston, and coming off a short week. The Bears are wounded, and wounded Bears attack.
Call:
Jacksonville 13
Chicago 24
---
Minnesota Vikings vs. Detroit Lions
Ford Field
Detroit, Michigan
...
Well, I'll say this, the Lions score a few points to start the game. But that's it.
Call:
Minnesota 31
Detroit 14
---
Houston Texans vs. Green Bay Packers
Lambeau Field
Green Bay, Wisconsin
The Texans are going to surprise the Packers here. Their offense is scary. Their defense is emerging of late; with quite a few young players contributing. On the contrary, the Packers look tired. Rodgers has had a decent year, but teams are keying on Ryan Grant. This leads to more passes in coverage, as teams are also getting more pressure on Rodgers of late. He's had a number of backbreaking INTs lately. Matt Schaub is back for the Texans, as well. Rodgers puts up big numbers, but Mario Williams will, too.
Call:
Houston 34
Green Bay 23
---
Cleveland Browns vs. Tennessee Titans
LP Field
Nashville, Tennessee
The Browns have officially quit. The Titans are trying to wrap up the division, and a win here will get them within .5 game of doing just that. In other words, they're going to eat the Browns' children.
Call:
Cleveland 14
Tennessee 24
---
Cincinnati Bengals vs. Indianapolis Colts
Lucas Oil Stadium
Indianapolis, Indiana
The Colts are on a MISSION. The Bengals are done and only solidifying the fact that they're going to get Marv fired.
Call:
Cincinnati 13
Indianapolis 28
---
Atlanta Falcons vs. New Orleans Saints
The Louisiana Superdome
New Orleans, Louisiana
The Falcons are consistent on both sides of the ball. The Saints are not. Increasingly, they are becoming one-dimensional. All passing. They get none yards (as John Madden would say) from their running game. Add to that, their defense is putrid. The Falcons will be in Brees' face and the faces of his targets all day. It won't be a blowout, because the Saints won't stop coming at Atlanta, but it will be ugly if Brees throws those INTs he's been throwing.
Call:
Atlanta 37
New Orleans 24
---
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Denver Broncos
Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium
Denver, Colorado
This is my upset special of the week. I don't like Denver. At all. I am not impressed by their "wins" vs. Atlanta and the New York Football Jets. I'm impressed with how Oakland beat them. The Chiefs are feisty, man. I really don't know that the Broncos can stop Larry Johnson, and Tyler Thigpen is playing reasonably well. Unless the Cutler-Marshall/Cutler-Royal combos work, they don't convince me they are going to win. And I don't think they will do it.
Call:
Kansas City 26
Denver 24
---
Miami Dolphins vs. Buffalo Bills
Ralph Wilson Stadium
Orchard Park, New York
The Bills are done. The loss last week vs. San Francisco was the death knell. The Dolphins are on a push to go 3-1/4-0 and have a chance to still make the playoffs. The Bills fed Marshawn Lynch the ball (although STILL NOT ENOUGH -- 16, 17 touches? 134 yards) and still lost.
Call:
Miami 30
Buffalo 20
---
New York Football Jets vs. San Francisco 49ers
Candlestick Park
San Francisco, California
Watch out here if you are a degenerate. The Jets do NOT play well when they go west. Good lord they're awful. I still think they will win this game, but it is going to be ugly because 1) the Niners will muck it up 2) the Jets will be sluggish on both sides of the ball. I think they will pull it out, despite Mangini's silly play-calling at times.
Call:
NY Jets 17
San Francisco 13
---
Philadelphia Eagles vs. New York Football Giants
Giants Stadium at the New Jersey Meadowlands
East Rutherford, New Jersey
The Iggles aren't done yet. You have to hand it to them. They have no quit. Donovan F. McNabb has had a time this year dealing with the Philly media and their ridiculous fans. Westbrook, however, is not 100% and did not stand a chance of getting huge yards against this particular Giants defense even if he were. The Giants won't miss a beat without Burress (if at all) until the playoffs. The Iggles do not strike fear in anyone with their secondary. Because the Jints can run the ball at will, there won't be as much blitzing by Jim Johnson.
Side Note: for those unaware of how the Giants organization is run (as I tune out Gloom 'n' Doomers like Floyd Reese -- what the heck was all that hot air about the other night??? -- and Cris Collinsworth, who has been predicting the worst for everyone such as McNabb, coach Andy Reid and of late, Burress) you have to realize that the Giants are faithful to their players and give out second chances when they are jammed up. Contrary to all the sensationalist media reports, if you were to glean anything from the transaction of benching him for the remainder of the season and playoffs -- with his contract language -- you should see that the Giants are going to be patient and let the legal ramifications pan out before they do anything. They are not going to release Burress. You heard it here first. For one, they don't want to have to draft a WR, when Jerry Reese (GM of the Year) did a good job stocking that unit the past two years. And the NFL will, at most, hit Burress with a 4 game suspension to start 2009. If Adam Jones doesn't get lifetime banishment for what he did, Burress won't. And Puff got the same charge (with the same lawyer) in 1999/2000. He did no time, only probation. Same thing with Cam'ron. Probation, no time.
Call:
Philadelphia 13
NY Giants 34
---
New England Patriots vs. Seattle Seahawks
Qwest Field
Seattle, Washington
The Seabags are playing like My Father's Seabags. They're done. The Patriots will come back after getting smacked/exposed. Pats in a blowout.
Call:
New England 31
Seattle 9
---
St. Louis Rams vs. Arizona Cardinals
University of Phoenix Stadium
Glendale, Arizona
Kurt & The Boys are going to put up Greatest Show On Turf numbers in this one. The Rams are packed and ready to go to Hawaii.
Call:
St. Louis 6
Arizona 43
---
Dallas Cowboys vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
Heinz Field
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
*GAME OF THE WEEK*
Dallas has a lot to prove. Back to back weeks, they play the best defense in the NFL, and the best defense in the NFC. Tough task. They must win one or both of these games and keep pace with Atlanta; who has the better conference record and ownership of the last wild card seed right now. If they lose to PIT and NYG that puts them at 8-6 and doing a lot of scoreboard watching during Atlanta's games in Weeks 16 and 17. I don't know that I am picking them here, but we will see next week vs. NYG. Tony Romo is going to get smacked around much like he did in the NFC Divisional Playoff last year. If Marion Barber is not able to go all out, they're in serious trouble.
Call:
Dallas 20
Pittsburgh 24
---
Washington Redskins vs. Baltimore Ravens
M&T Bank Stadium
Baltimore, Maryland
*SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL*
On paper, this looks even. In reality, given how the two teams are on divergent paths of late, it's lopsided. I think everything will hold true to form over the past month or so and the Ravens will actually win this one similarly to the WASH/NYG game last week; going away. Too much consistency from Flacco, not enough from Campbell. Too much McClain/Rice. Portis is breaking down like a fine Acura with 415,000 miles on it. The Redskins' receivers are not getting separation out of their breaks. This will kill the Redskins' playoff hopes.
Call:
Washington 17
Baltimore 30
---
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Carolina Panthers
Bank of America Stadium
Charlotte, North Carolina
*MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL*
*GAME OF THE WEEK, PT. II*
This is the one for all the chips. The Bucs win, they have sole possession of first place and the head-to-head tiebreaker over Carolina. If the Black Cats win, they have sole possession of first place and the tiebreaker due to better record vs. common opponents. I give the slight edge to the Cats here because they are undefeated at home, and don't want their Week 16 trek to East Rutherford to determine whether or not they make the playoffs (a loss in this game would put them in a potential three-way tie with Dallas and Atlanta). I think they will break the Bucs' back with their two-headed running game. Jake Delhomme will ensure they will be one and done even if they make the playoffs, however. Mark my words. He's been brutal the last half of the season.
Call:
Tampa Bay 14
Carolina 23
---
More this weekend.
As politically incorrect as I wanna be.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Ship Be Sinkin'
The Ship Be Sinkin'
THE SHIP THAT SEEMED LIKE IT WOULD SINK
Regarding "little faith," it is also written:
Matthew 8:23-27
AND WHEN HE (Jesus) WAS ENTERED INTO A SHIP, HIS DISCIPLES FOLLOWED HIM. AND, BEHOLD, THERE AROSE A GREAT TEMPEST IN THE SEA, INSOMUCH THAT THE SHIP WAS COVERED WITH THE WAVES: BUT HE WAS ASLEEP. AND HIS DISCIPLES CAME TO HIM, AND AWOKE HIM, SAYING, LORD, SAVE US: WE PERISH. AND HE SAITH UNTO THEM, WHY ARE YE FEARFUL, O YE OF LITTLE FAITH? THEN HE AROSE, AND REBUKED THE WINDS AND THE SEA; AND THERE WAS A GREAT CALM. BUT THE MEN MARVELLED, SAYING, WHAT MANNER OF MAN IS THIS, THAT EVEN THE WINDS AND THE SEA OBEY HIM!
Luke 8:25
AND HE SAID UNTO THEM, WHERE IS YOUR FAITH? AND THEY BEING AFRAID WONDERED, SAYING ONE TO ANOTHER, WHAT MANNER OF MAN IS THIS! FOR HE COMMANDETH EVEN THE WINDS AND WATER, AND THEY OBEY HIM.
The disciples were afraid that their ship would sink because of the wind and waves. This is symbolic of the many things that the Christian go through or that come against the Christian. Sometimes these seem to cover the Christian, and it seems as if there is no hope. Here "little faith" is shown to be the same as doubting, because of fearfulness.
Jesus was in control all along. Their faith was being tested to see how they would react. No matter what difficulty or problem comes against a Christian, Jesus is in control and can rebuke the most difficult situations or problems, or provide a way to escape-ref 1 Corinthians 10:13. Sometimes it may be the Lord’s will that we go through a very difficult experience, but He promises to be with us in trouble-ref Psalm 66:11,12; Psalm 91:15; Isaiah 43:2.
Some in the boat appear to have had "little faith" while others may have had "no faith"-ref Mark 4:40.
bibledesk.com
THE SHIP THAT SEEMED LIKE IT WOULD SINK
Regarding "little faith," it is also written:
Matthew 8:23-27
AND WHEN HE (Jesus) WAS ENTERED INTO A SHIP, HIS DISCIPLES FOLLOWED HIM. AND, BEHOLD, THERE AROSE A GREAT TEMPEST IN THE SEA, INSOMUCH THAT THE SHIP WAS COVERED WITH THE WAVES: BUT HE WAS ASLEEP. AND HIS DISCIPLES CAME TO HIM, AND AWOKE HIM, SAYING, LORD, SAVE US: WE PERISH. AND HE SAITH UNTO THEM, WHY ARE YE FEARFUL, O YE OF LITTLE FAITH? THEN HE AROSE, AND REBUKED THE WINDS AND THE SEA; AND THERE WAS A GREAT CALM. BUT THE MEN MARVELLED, SAYING, WHAT MANNER OF MAN IS THIS, THAT EVEN THE WINDS AND THE SEA OBEY HIM!
Luke 8:25
AND HE SAID UNTO THEM, WHERE IS YOUR FAITH? AND THEY BEING AFRAID WONDERED, SAYING ONE TO ANOTHER, WHAT MANNER OF MAN IS THIS! FOR HE COMMANDETH EVEN THE WINDS AND WATER, AND THEY OBEY HIM.
The disciples were afraid that their ship would sink because of the wind and waves. This is symbolic of the many things that the Christian go through or that come against the Christian. Sometimes these seem to cover the Christian, and it seems as if there is no hope. Here "little faith" is shown to be the same as doubting, because of fearfulness.
Jesus was in control all along. Their faith was being tested to see how they would react. No matter what difficulty or problem comes against a Christian, Jesus is in control and can rebuke the most difficult situations or problems, or provide a way to escape-ref 1 Corinthians 10:13. Sometimes it may be the Lord’s will that we go through a very difficult experience, but He promises to be with us in trouble-ref Psalm 66:11,12; Psalm 91:15; Isaiah 43:2.
Some in the boat appear to have had "little faith" while others may have had "no faith"-ref Mark 4:40.
bibledesk.com
He Said-She Said: Why Do Women Go for the "Bad Boys"?
*Not exactly co-signing here...
He Said-She Said: Why Do Women Go for the "Bad Boys"?
Cliff Young & Laura MacCorkle
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer & Senior Editor
EDITOR’S NOTE: Each He Said-She Said column features a question from a Crosswalk.com reader with responses from a male and female point of view. If you’ve got a question about anything related to singleness, please CLICK HERE to submit (selected questions will be posted anonymously).
QUESTION: I am 44 years old and have never been married. From my high school years and on, I've noticed one thing happening that I don't understand: Why do women today prefer the "bad boys" they know will mistreat them over the "good men" they know will treat them right?
HE SAID: By “bad boy” I am assuming you are referring to an overtly masculine, self-centered, arrogant male who generally forms relationships to purely satisfy his own physical needs. The type of guy other men hate, yet the ones some women seem to love? Is this close to what you are alluding to?
I have wondered this myself since I am never “bad” enough for those women, but “good” enough to listen as they struggle through their relationships with guys having these traits.
Every woman has her own specific wants, desires and needs. These differences lead to a number of reasons why some women prefer to date guys with an edgier side to them.
* She may see a Good Man as a friend, but a Bad Boy as real, exciting and confident.
* She may see an opportunity to utilize her natural desire to nurture or to fix a guy.
* She may be charmed (or manipulated) by his salesman-like skills.
* She may feel safer or more protected as he is less likely to be messed with.
* She may lack self-confidence and want to be controlled.
* She may want to experience someone less conservative and predictable.
* She may not be ready for a commitment (a Good Man sometimes represents).
Regardless of a woman’s ultimate motive (or motives) in choosing a “Bad Boy” over a “Good Man,” there is not much we, as “good” men or possible suitors, can do. We can sit back and wonder why, evaluate her for doing so, or try to understand her rationale; however, none of this is useful or productive.
Then again, if we are a friend or a close brother in Christ, we should encourage her to walk with God and seek godly relationships, not for our best interest, but for hers.
Preach the Word … correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction (2 Timothy 4:2).
I may not know the reason for or understand the actions of others. Likewise, I don’t know how God is going to use a situation in someone’s life in order to bring them closer to Him.
In some incidences, helping others out of trouble or giving them advice actually prolongs their circumstances by stunting their spiritual and personal growth. At other times, not being forthright with a person and not assisting a person through a situation allows the person to fall further away from God.
As a follower of Christ, my role is to always be in prayer for myself and for others so I can discern how and when I may be used in their life.
Whatever the case may be with the women you know, I understand the frustration in seeing them seek someone other than who you (and seemingly God) would want for them.
There is a passage in the Bible that helps me in quandaries like this.
When I thought deeply in order to understand this, it was painful for me, until I went into the sanctuary of God (Psalm 73:16-17).
If we have a relationship with Christ, we need to be spending our time loving God and loving others as ourselves. We shouldn’t desire to try to change who we are in order to win the heart of someone we are interested in.
I am doing my best to be who God created and called me to be. He has made me unique, special, precious and “good.” A person who is seeking a “Bad Boy” is probably not the one God has chosen for me or for you.
Take heart, and trust He who is God.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).
SHE SAID: Who knows? And I mean that with all sincerity.
Really and truly, why do men and women, bad boys and good girls, good boys and bad girls, do anything that we do when it comes to relating to the opposite sex? There are just some things in life that will never be explained. And a whole lot that is just not worth the time spent trying to decipher.
You can make yourself crazy if you try to figure out why someone likes one person and not another. Don’t try to make a pro’s and con’s list. Don’t try to reconstruct every conversation you’ve had with a certain individual who’s struck your fancy and is not interested in you. And don’t try to analyze all of this person’s moves and motives or get clues or information from their friends.
You cannot fully understand someone’s thoughts (unless they share them with you, and even then they still may not make sense). You won’t be able to understand what attracts him or her to one person and not to another. And if he or she is not interested, there’s not a whole lot you can do to change his or her mind anyway.
So, just know that in most cases, you’ll never understand. It’s best to just move on, accept it for what it is and tell yourself: This person is not interested in me, and I don’t know why. AND THAT’S OKAY. This person must not be God’s best for me. I choose to believe that there is someone else who is perfect for me and will see the value in me, and I won’t have to do backflips or tap dance to make something happen or garner interest.
In college, I remember trying to figure out why it seemed many of the cuter guys only asked out the plainer girls. I couldn’t decode the mystery. What did the plain-country-janes have that we duded-up city girls did not? After all, we had “cutting edge” outfits from Express and killer wits about us, and they only had long skirts, pullover sweaters and “boring” personalities (or so we assumed).
These young ladies definitely had a certain je ne sais quoi. And by that I mean, I really don’t know what in tarnation they had that we didn’t. Perhaps they had sweeter and gentler spirits. Possibly they were more at ease with themselves and not so focused on trying to impress. Or maybe they had a special talent for baking irresistible gingerbread. Who knows?
My friends and I weren’t setting out to be cruel in our thoughts regarding our female competition. We just wanted some explanations as to why the cute boys wouldn’t ask us out. What in the world did they see in these “plain” young ladies and not in us?
It’s the same line of questioning as your inquiry regarding women preferring “bad boys.” What do they have that the "good men" do not? It’s puzzling. And I don’t have a firm answer for you, because there might not be one.
However, when discussing your question with a friend of mine, she did suggest to me that perhaps a woman might go after a “bad boy” because she feels like she doesn’t deserve any better. Maybe she has a poor self-image and doesn’t think she could ever attract or hold the interest of a “good guy.” I think this rationale is definitely possible and could be part of the equation in many cases.
Also, what is considered a “bad boy”? Is he someone who many wrongly call a “player” just because he dates a lot and has a social outing lined up for every weekend? Is he someone who is comfortable in his skin, knows how to approach women and never seems ill at ease around the ladies?
Or … is he someone who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Does he act one way in front of his church friends and then carries on with a rougher crowd at other times? Is he a commitment-phobe who chases women until they’re hooked and then drops them like hot potatoes? Or is he someone who has a history of not treating women like ladies and getting them to compromise their standards?
Whichever he is, forget trying to define the “bad boy.” I think the real heart of the matter is that you’re trying to figure out why certain women are attracted to certain men, and maybe why certain women who you are interested in are not interested in you.
My heart-to-heart advice? Focus on being the best man you can be (be a Boaz!). Choose to always do what is right and honorable. Love and serve the Lord. Also, be kind and help others. That’s all you can do.
God knows what he’s doing in your life. His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and so that means we won’t always (actually, most of the time we won’t!) understand what he is doing. Just keep that in mind and know that he knows far better what is best for us and our lives.
I highly doubt you have gone unnoticed all of these years by members of the opposite sex. While it’s possible you may have felt overlooked in years past by certain women you were attracted to, maybe it’s possible that you have looked over some wonderful young ladies who could have been or would be great matches for you (and were attracted to you!). Do a little personal inventory and think about that. It might yield a light-bulb moment.
It’s clichéd, but I believe there is someone for everyone. And one of these days, the right woman will come along for you, and it will just work. I don’t know how or when. But hang in there, don’t give up and please don’t cross over to the dark side and become a “bad boy”—however you interpret one to be. Among other things, your character as a “good man” will surely be what attracts the one who is meant for you.
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Crosswalk.com’s Senior Entertainment Editor. She loves God, her family and and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who’s counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We’re just average folk who understand what it’s like to live the solo life in the 21st century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life’s questions, and it’s where we’ll go for guidance when responding to your questions.
GOT A QUESTION? If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.
He Said-She Said: Why Do Women Go for the "Bad Boys"?
Cliff Young & Laura MacCorkle
Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer & Senior Editor
EDITOR’S NOTE: Each He Said-She Said column features a question from a Crosswalk.com reader with responses from a male and female point of view. If you’ve got a question about anything related to singleness, please CLICK HERE to submit (selected questions will be posted anonymously).
QUESTION: I am 44 years old and have never been married. From my high school years and on, I've noticed one thing happening that I don't understand: Why do women today prefer the "bad boys" they know will mistreat them over the "good men" they know will treat them right?
HE SAID: By “bad boy” I am assuming you are referring to an overtly masculine, self-centered, arrogant male who generally forms relationships to purely satisfy his own physical needs. The type of guy other men hate, yet the ones some women seem to love? Is this close to what you are alluding to?
I have wondered this myself since I am never “bad” enough for those women, but “good” enough to listen as they struggle through their relationships with guys having these traits.
Every woman has her own specific wants, desires and needs. These differences lead to a number of reasons why some women prefer to date guys with an edgier side to them.
* She may see a Good Man as a friend, but a Bad Boy as real, exciting and confident.
* She may see an opportunity to utilize her natural desire to nurture or to fix a guy.
* She may be charmed (or manipulated) by his salesman-like skills.
* She may feel safer or more protected as he is less likely to be messed with.
* She may lack self-confidence and want to be controlled.
* She may want to experience someone less conservative and predictable.
* She may not be ready for a commitment (a Good Man sometimes represents).
Regardless of a woman’s ultimate motive (or motives) in choosing a “Bad Boy” over a “Good Man,” there is not much we, as “good” men or possible suitors, can do. We can sit back and wonder why, evaluate her for doing so, or try to understand her rationale; however, none of this is useful or productive.
Then again, if we are a friend or a close brother in Christ, we should encourage her to walk with God and seek godly relationships, not for our best interest, but for hers.
Preach the Word … correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction (2 Timothy 4:2).
I may not know the reason for or understand the actions of others. Likewise, I don’t know how God is going to use a situation in someone’s life in order to bring them closer to Him.
In some incidences, helping others out of trouble or giving them advice actually prolongs their circumstances by stunting their spiritual and personal growth. At other times, not being forthright with a person and not assisting a person through a situation allows the person to fall further away from God.
As a follower of Christ, my role is to always be in prayer for myself and for others so I can discern how and when I may be used in their life.
Whatever the case may be with the women you know, I understand the frustration in seeing them seek someone other than who you (and seemingly God) would want for them.
There is a passage in the Bible that helps me in quandaries like this.
When I thought deeply in order to understand this, it was painful for me, until I went into the sanctuary of God (Psalm 73:16-17).
If we have a relationship with Christ, we need to be spending our time loving God and loving others as ourselves. We shouldn’t desire to try to change who we are in order to win the heart of someone we are interested in.
I am doing my best to be who God created and called me to be. He has made me unique, special, precious and “good.” A person who is seeking a “Bad Boy” is probably not the one God has chosen for me or for you.
Take heart, and trust He who is God.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).
SHE SAID: Who knows? And I mean that with all sincerity.
Really and truly, why do men and women, bad boys and good girls, good boys and bad girls, do anything that we do when it comes to relating to the opposite sex? There are just some things in life that will never be explained. And a whole lot that is just not worth the time spent trying to decipher.
You can make yourself crazy if you try to figure out why someone likes one person and not another. Don’t try to make a pro’s and con’s list. Don’t try to reconstruct every conversation you’ve had with a certain individual who’s struck your fancy and is not interested in you. And don’t try to analyze all of this person’s moves and motives or get clues or information from their friends.
You cannot fully understand someone’s thoughts (unless they share them with you, and even then they still may not make sense). You won’t be able to understand what attracts him or her to one person and not to another. And if he or she is not interested, there’s not a whole lot you can do to change his or her mind anyway.
So, just know that in most cases, you’ll never understand. It’s best to just move on, accept it for what it is and tell yourself: This person is not interested in me, and I don’t know why. AND THAT’S OKAY. This person must not be God’s best for me. I choose to believe that there is someone else who is perfect for me and will see the value in me, and I won’t have to do backflips or tap dance to make something happen or garner interest.
In college, I remember trying to figure out why it seemed many of the cuter guys only asked out the plainer girls. I couldn’t decode the mystery. What did the plain-country-janes have that we duded-up city girls did not? After all, we had “cutting edge” outfits from Express and killer wits about us, and they only had long skirts, pullover sweaters and “boring” personalities (or so we assumed).
These young ladies definitely had a certain je ne sais quoi. And by that I mean, I really don’t know what in tarnation they had that we didn’t. Perhaps they had sweeter and gentler spirits. Possibly they were more at ease with themselves and not so focused on trying to impress. Or maybe they had a special talent for baking irresistible gingerbread. Who knows?
My friends and I weren’t setting out to be cruel in our thoughts regarding our female competition. We just wanted some explanations as to why the cute boys wouldn’t ask us out. What in the world did they see in these “plain” young ladies and not in us?
It’s the same line of questioning as your inquiry regarding women preferring “bad boys.” What do they have that the "good men" do not? It’s puzzling. And I don’t have a firm answer for you, because there might not be one.
However, when discussing your question with a friend of mine, she did suggest to me that perhaps a woman might go after a “bad boy” because she feels like she doesn’t deserve any better. Maybe she has a poor self-image and doesn’t think she could ever attract or hold the interest of a “good guy.” I think this rationale is definitely possible and could be part of the equation in many cases.
Also, what is considered a “bad boy”? Is he someone who many wrongly call a “player” just because he dates a lot and has a social outing lined up for every weekend? Is he someone who is comfortable in his skin, knows how to approach women and never seems ill at ease around the ladies?
Or … is he someone who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Does he act one way in front of his church friends and then carries on with a rougher crowd at other times? Is he a commitment-phobe who chases women until they’re hooked and then drops them like hot potatoes? Or is he someone who has a history of not treating women like ladies and getting them to compromise their standards?
Whichever he is, forget trying to define the “bad boy.” I think the real heart of the matter is that you’re trying to figure out why certain women are attracted to certain men, and maybe why certain women who you are interested in are not interested in you.
My heart-to-heart advice? Focus on being the best man you can be (be a Boaz!). Choose to always do what is right and honorable. Love and serve the Lord. Also, be kind and help others. That’s all you can do.
God knows what he’s doing in your life. His ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9), and so that means we won’t always (actually, most of the time we won’t!) understand what he is doing. Just keep that in mind and know that he knows far better what is best for us and our lives.
I highly doubt you have gone unnoticed all of these years by members of the opposite sex. While it’s possible you may have felt overlooked in years past by certain women you were attracted to, maybe it’s possible that you have looked over some wonderful young ladies who could have been or would be great matches for you (and were attracted to you!). Do a little personal inventory and think about that. It might yield a light-bulb moment.
It’s clichéd, but I believe there is someone for everyone. And one of these days, the right woman will come along for you, and it will just work. I don’t know how or when. But hang in there, don’t give up and please don’t cross over to the dark side and become a “bad boy”—however you interpret one to be. Among other things, your character as a “good man” will surely be what attracts the one who is meant for you.
HE is … Cliff Young, a Crosswalk.com contributing writer and a veteran single of many decades. He has traveled the world in search of fresh experiences, serving opportunities, and the perfect woman (for him) and has found that his investments in God, career and youth ministry have paid off in priceless dividends.
SHE is … Laura MacCorkle, Crosswalk.com’s Senior Entertainment Editor. She loves God, her family and and her friends. Singleness has taught her patience, deepened her walk with the Lord and afforded her countless (who’s counting anyway?) opportunities to whip up an amazing three-course meal for one.
DISCLAIMER: We are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We’re just average folk who understand what it’s like to live the solo life in the 21st century. We believe that the Bible is our go-to guide for answers to all of life’s questions, and it’s where we’ll go for guidance when responding to your questions.
GOT A QUESTION? If you’ve got a question about anything related to living the single life, PLEASE SUBMIT HERE (selected questions will be posted anonymously). While we are unable to answer every inquiry, we do hope that He Said-She Said will be an encouragement to you.
Gone With The Wind
Gone With The Wind
READ: Ecclesiastes 1:2-9,14
All is vanity and grasping for the wind. —Ecclesiastes 1:14
The epic film based on Margaret Mitchell’s novel Gone With the Wind opens with these lines:
“There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South. Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. . . . Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind.”
Not only does a way of life disappear but also the dreams that drive the main characters. Throughout the Civil War, Scarlett O’Hara is preoccupied with her love for Ashley Wilkes. But by story’s end, she is disillusioned.
Solomon saw the futility of seeking satisfaction in people and things. Despite amassing wealth and knowledge, completing great projects, and marrying many wives, he said, “All is vanity and grasping for the wind” (Eccl. 1:14).
Why does chasing transitory things leave us unfulfilled? The biblical answer is that we were created to find our ultimate fulfillment in God. Jesus promised, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).
People and things come and go. But the spiritual satisfaction Christ offers sustains us in this world and will endure into eternity. — Dennis Fisher
What comes from man will never last,
It’s here today, tomorrow past;
What comes from God will always be
The same for all eternity! —Spencer
Invest your life in what pays eternal dividends.
READ: Ecclesiastes 1:2-9,14
All is vanity and grasping for the wind. —Ecclesiastes 1:14
The epic film based on Margaret Mitchell’s novel Gone With the Wind opens with these lines:
“There was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South. Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. . . . Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind.”
Not only does a way of life disappear but also the dreams that drive the main characters. Throughout the Civil War, Scarlett O’Hara is preoccupied with her love for Ashley Wilkes. But by story’s end, she is disillusioned.
Solomon saw the futility of seeking satisfaction in people and things. Despite amassing wealth and knowledge, completing great projects, and marrying many wives, he said, “All is vanity and grasping for the wind” (Eccl. 1:14).
Why does chasing transitory things leave us unfulfilled? The biblical answer is that we were created to find our ultimate fulfillment in God. Jesus promised, “I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).
People and things come and go. But the spiritual satisfaction Christ offers sustains us in this world and will endure into eternity. — Dennis Fisher
What comes from man will never last,
It’s here today, tomorrow past;
What comes from God will always be
The same for all eternity! —Spencer
Invest your life in what pays eternal dividends.
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