Random Musings... February 2009

Random Musings... February 2009
M.D. Wright
2.24.09

This blog post is not going anywhere in particular. I do my best writing when I am upset, and I am VERY upset right now. So if this doesn't make sense, I warned you from the outset that I was pissed to begin with and just rambling.

Is there ever a wonder -- why, when conducting ELECTRONIC transactions that the party YOU'RE dealing with can get your money IMMEDIATELY, but when THEY have to turn around and repay you, it takes WEEKS (literally) to get the money back FROM them? I deposited $295 ($225 of that was a data entry error, but that's not something I'm going to get into here, because I shouldn't have even done it to begin with) into an account to "invest" in a "sure thing". I hit the sure thing, but now when it comes time for me to get the money from THEM -- it takes as long as it takes me to grow a full beard (darn near forever).

I am forever amused when I hear people (typically young slags) huddled up talking about other people. Hearing things such as "Who do SHE think she is?" or "He think is better than everyone else". The latter kills me (softly). How do you know what is going on in the minds of someone you don't know? Heck, if you're that good, please give me the numbers for the NBA Finals NOW. Ha.

I hate being in classes with people who like to speak just have their voices heard. Shut up already. I mean, it's one thing if you're adding something substantive to the lecture/discussion at hand. I LOAF that. But in every one of my classes, there is at least one person who is annoying and asks 15 1,100 questions about a SIMPLE, straight-forward exam -- eating away at our time. Shut up dear GOD.

I would love to go through one semester and have people NOT jerk me around for my money. I have spent the first half of every last one of the past seven semester bickering with the financial aid office, or selling major assets to douche bags who try to lowball me. I would love to know what it's like to even be able to focus on school 80% of the time. My GPA would be half a point higher. I PROMISE.

I learned a long time ago about that 80/20 principle that Bishop T.D. Jakes initially made famous in the late 1990s (some people think Tyler Perry coined this, but Perry is friends with Jakes and got the concept from him). I subscribe to this personally. I will readily admit that before I was age 22, that while I knew about the principle, I never applied it. If you didn't look like a supermodel, I didn't pursue you. PERIOD (now that I have had experience with several of these supermodel-esque types and their ilk, I don't care about looks much at all ha). If I'm attracted to her and it's mutual, it's onto the important things to me (i.e. non-physical). I'm not looking for someone to complete me, be something I'm not (in order to make me feel better) and so on.

I believe in the bait-and-hook theory as well: looks are the bait -- think fishing -- and her character, virtues and personality are the hook. Only a dumb or blind fish goes after a baitless hook (baitless hook = "WELP, she's got a nice personality" -- yeah right, TFOH!!!

The longer I am UNCG, the more I worry about Black people and our future dear God. First of all, I feel like I'm walking the halls at Smith again (most everyone knows me, but I'm not given to cliques, so I can associate with people FREELY without being beholden to others and getting nasty looks for "fraternizing with the enemy" me oh my).

I see more guys wearing scarves, tight pants, high heel boots and switching harder than half the girls here dear God. Isn't the Black race on the verge of extinction at this rate? Sheesh. I don't care what ANYONE has to say -- if they take offence, FINE. Deal with it. I ain't changing what I say in my blog to assuage that conviction in your heart. But dear God, can a man be a MAN anymore? I'm a man's man. A renaissance man as well. But liking the arts and such -- you kind of run into some "confused" bruvas. And it seems like one in every two Black dudes here is "confused". Get me out of here and send me to Kuwait or something good heavens. I guess Biggie was right back in '94 -- "THINGS DONE CHANGED".

This month is Black History alright. I'm Black and my bank account is looking like HISTORY lately. Grad school applications, moving expenses, regular bills, people wanting to get their kneecaps holding out paying me the money they owe me. Good Lord, university systems are a drain on a bruva's stash. I just blew through 7 Gs since January 16th.

DEAR.
GOD.

In other news, throughout all this madness, I'm on pace for a 3.8 semester. I don't have to do too much out of my routine and thankfully loving to write actually helps me with my classes from now until I finish my JD and Ph.D studies down the line.

My Take On Interracial Relationships

My Take On Interracial Relationships
M.D. Wright
2.23.09

First of all, my opinion on this is rather simple, so this will be brief. I'm trying to get back into blog mode. I took a month off basically to handle ultra-important things. However, being back in school, you meet new people, hear new estories... I mean, stories ha and it gets you to thinking.

Of late, I have heard a LOT of White women (friends of mine, specifically) tell me that they love dating Black men. I ask them, "But why Black? Why stop there?" ha. The response I get is shocking, because I never heard this before in my life:

"Well, I just don't find the great majority of White guys attractive. AT ALL."

Wow.

I never heard it before and to this day I don't know what to think when I ehar that; particularly when I've had a couple of them flirt with me. It's pretty hilarious.

I've heard other female friends who are White say it is merely a product of their upbringing -- that they grew up mostly around Blacks and Hispanics.

OK.

I bring that up, because an interesting dynamic is being developed as a result of this rather recent paradigm shift. Oh, the White is Right philosophy is still in full effect (especially in the minds of the parents of young women who aren't Black -- in reference to their daughters dating or potentially marrying Black men), let's not fool ourselves here. I've overheard several parental squabbles (usually the father beefin', because the mother sometimse has a few skeletons in her closet if you know what I mean ha).

I have several dudes that I am cool with, a few of them friends of mine who have pulled women of EVERY ethnicity. I will not incriminate myself here by speaking about my foibles and journey while forming the Rainbow Coalition ha but I will say that being a Black man in the eyes of women under 45 isn't the terrible thing it USED to be dear God. It's not gone, nor will it ever be, but that stigma isn't as strong.

Meanwhile, on the other front, I have noticed how this affects relationships between Black men and Black women. I'm the first to admit, I don't give a rat's culo who ANYONE dates nor what their motives are for doing so. If only more people used that mindset good heavens. Anyway, for the most part, I will say my female friends who are Black (about 2/3 of the total) are not your typical ones who get all up in arms even at the sight of a Black guy with a non-Black woman. Thank God. I wouldn't stand for hearing that bullshit anyway. However, much credit to them, because it makes me respect them even more than I already do (they know who they are).

Nevertheless, there is one set of guys here who should be addressed: the guy who is extremely shy, or geeky/nerdy/dorky/homely (or ugly, if you want to be UNpolitically correct ha) guy who stands no chance with 90% of the Black female population. You want to know what caused me to write this blog? LOOKNIG AT BLAKE GRIFFIN'S PARENTS DEAR GOD. His dad probably wouldn't have gotten a second look from 3/4 of the Black women he grew up with. Meanwhile, the woman he married is White (nothing special to write home about herself, but ok...) and they are happy together. Or so it seems. I just wonder, when a guy - even if he's not shy or any of those other qualities (but nonetheless just as smart as those guys while maintaining social equilibrium) manages to get overlooked by the same women, how's he supposed to react when he gets the Gas Face from those who ultimately ends up with the woman(en) who will accept him as is and won't try to change him into "more cool" or make him something that he's not so that she will feel comfortable bringing him around her girls and her family?

Feel free to offer input. This is one of my rare open-ended blog discussions ha. Blame this one on the Kansas/Oklahoma game Dear God.

Affirmative Action & "The Independent Woman" Phenomenon

Affirmative Action & "The Independent Woman" Phenomenon
M.D. Wright
2.18.09

As most of us know, Affirmative Action is 30 (actually 31) years old now. Many barked and griped about it during its inception (which is always the case when change occurs). Over time, those who did the barking and griping shifted as respective quotas were fulfilled and special interest groups' concerns were assuaged. One undeniable fact about Affirmative Action is who it has benefitted MOST in these thirty-odd years. Women.

Segue.

In the past decade or so, there has been a surge in the use of the term "Independent Woman" -- particularly amongst Black women, and to a lesser degree lower/working class White women and a few Latinas. It is an interesting phenomenon, given the fact that the social landscape and the corporate dynamic has shifted greatly since 1990. There has been a palpable paradigm shift within the United States, within each respective "race" (I hate the term, as you all know), nationality/ethnicity and even subgroups within each ethnicity.

Now, what I must point out for those who don't know me personally -- I'm as progressive socially as they come. I'm no wayward liberal by any stretch, but I am ALL for equal rights, treatment and opportunities for men and women. Indeed, the Capitalist regime, which does not even count women unless they are actually working in some capacity within any of the social institutions is SLANTED AGAINST the "traditional" woman. In this regard, more women are needed within the corporate hierarchy; even if economists would argue that there is not enough "capital" to salary all the new workers.

But I digress.

The effect Affirmative Action has had is not the issue. These are statistics that cannot be argued by anyone: chauvinist pigs, radical feminists, etc. The INDEPENDENT WOMAN movement, however -- is a different story.

Nowadays, you hear this term bandied about as much as "Hi, how are you doing?" in casual greetings dear God. And while I personally don't have a problem with it (it's often laughable to hear some women use the term given that they are living on government assistance and treat every man that comes near them like last week's refuse), it has become highly annoying to hear it when anything resembling the "oppressive" nature of previous social institutions such as "traditional" marriage is broached in conversation. The notion that a woman "needs" a man anymore is out. Self is in. God put marriage in place with the hierarchy for a reason. For Christian women to go about tossing this phrase freely is what disturbs me more than those who are not Christian and therefore not beholden to fulfill what it is God's Word explicitly states.

Again, I digress. This is one of my favourite topics of late.

With so many songs like "She's Got Her Own/Independent Woman", "Irreplaceable", "Diva", and what have you... where does it end?

The ONLY problem I really have with this new wave of social movement is the fact that one MAJOR fact seems to get lost in all of this:

Women have benefited most from Affirmative Action; particularly upwardly mobile Middle Class/Educated Black and White women. On the flipside of that coin, men of all ethnicities are not getting jobs that they normally got. That is fine. If the women filling the roles are qualified, I have zero problem with this. I've said this before. However, if, on one hand, a man is expected to fulfill "traditional" roles, while a woman is trying everything she can to break from that traditional mold, there is going to be a great schism. A dichotomy forms. Men and women are forced to take divergent paths, instead of similar paths (another in the long list of reasons why you have so many disgruntled single women who have everything materially, but lack a man -- of which she only views as an accessory instead of the critical cornerstone in her life [and vice-versa she for him] that God designed).

Now, more than ever, men aren't even given the opportunity to BE men anymore. There are so many sociological reasons for this. I don't have the time to go into them in this post. But when you can't earn a decent wage, or even get a job (in 2009's economy), what is a man supposed to do? Educated or not? Especially Black men, when they aren't locked up, dead or on the corner? I almost pity Black women in that (for those who want to marry a Black man) WHO do they have to choose from? Dear God.

Nonetheless, I hear a lot of women saying "no bitchassness in 2009" and other phrases to that effect, saying that men should step it up and do better. For those who aren't statistics, but are busting their tails and aren't able to realize their dreams, such utterances are misguided. In addition to that, aren't women supposed to support and uplift men as brothers, even if they're not romantically involved or married? What happened there? Especially within the Black community, where this is amplified? It is just interesting to hear those who scream this phrase the loudest and the most often are failing to realize what success they've achieved (for the most part, not ALL -- as I NEVER use the term "all" and make broad, sweeping generalizations) whether it be college education, career, business, even positions in church came as a result of Affirmative Action. It appears those in this current generation; especially those born SINCE 1978 have forgotten what their mothers and grandmothers, aunts and older cousins had to go through just to get their feet in the door; whereas women outnumber men in college nationwide, and therefore, along with the successful pressuring from special interest groups, have better opportunities to get jobs, start businesses, become heads of organizations and realize unprecedented success. I will never make an excuse for a man who resorts to hustling and risking getting a criminal record "just to survive" -- it is still a CHOICE, and in this information age, there are many legitimate means to earn a living; so it is not an excuse anymore. However, given that men, especially Black men, are getting passed over for jobs now more than ever in favor of the very women who are mockingly telling them to "step it up" and "no bitchassness in 2009" or "stop complaining about what you can't do/what job you can't get" -- it is very curious that this fact is being ignored.

We will see how 2009 changes this.