Woe Unto Those Who Seek Ye Advice

Woe Unto Those Who Seek Ye Advice
M.D. Wright
12.24.09

I'm going to take a break from writing from a man's perspective. Every now and then, I take suggestions from my friends with regards to what I will write about. A friend of mine and I were talking last night about some things she's dealing with and from whom she has received advice (however unsolicited it may have been in one particular case). As always, I worked a humorous angle into it all and we had a few good laughs about it. However, I do want to address two things.

1. SINGLE LADIES: BEWARE WHO YOU RECEIVE ADVICE FROM.

Why do I say this? There is a hierarchy that, for the most part, is in place to help young ladies and young professional women in their 20s and early 30s maneuver the landscape -- as pertains to dealing with men. Older women are wise for a reason: they've lived longer. They've seen more than you have and have an answer for almost every possible scenario and predicament. If you have any true, serious concerns about "men issues", why not seek their advice? Is this too easy? Hmmmm...

What do a good number of women aged 18-34 do, though? They ask their (supposed) friends.

Friends have your best interest in mind.
Friends tell you the truth about YOURSELF, especially if you're dead wrong.
Friends don't set you up to fail.
Friends, even if they are not happy themselves, will not put you out just to land you in the same miserable boat they're in.

Keep those points in mind as I wade through this further.

This demographic (18-34 year old women) usually has a solid network of female friends. And they know who they trust and who they don't. A growing number nowadays has more male friends (or all male friends -- something that bugs me more and more, because if you can't get along with women, knowing that "game recognizes game" and you try to put things over on men, some of whom will see right through you -- then something's amiss). But for those who rely upon their female friends for advice -- the ones who are their age, listen up.

What does each of them have in common?
Do you notice the dichotomy between the advice you receive from the Single Angry Women vs. Older Women/Happily Married Women?

My friend argued that Single Angry Women should not give advice. Period. End of story. Although I'm never really faced with this scenario as a man (I don't consult any woman under 35 about hardly ANYTHING unless she's talking about the Bible or Academics ha -- otherwise, what is she going to tell me? So this is enlightening to me to a degree), I listened to her and she made some salient points.

Single Angry Women are often bitter. Stinging from a relationship gone sour. They're angry at men. They're miserable. They're lonely. And the advice they will give you will most likely land you in the same boat if you don't learn to take out the meat and leave the bone that is the root of their bitterness. They're alone, lonely, can't get a man and they're TIGHT because of these facts. Worse yet, as your friend, they claim to have your best interest in mind, but they want you to be miserable right along with them. DEAR GOD MIKE, how is this possible, you ask? Well, let me give you the drop.

How many of you have found yourself in the following situation?

You met a guy, and you hit an inevitable bump in the road. Nothing serious, you just need to iron things out and communicate some things to one another. Nothing detrimental to the overall direction of the relationship (whether you're just talking, newly committed or been together for a while as an exclusive couple). Now, you go to your Single Angry friend and she will take your situation and make it seem like the Geneva Convention just got scrapped and is telling you to curse the man our, fly off the handle (to provoke him) and other ridiculous, buffoonish advice that is going to cause you a break-up.

Why would they do this? Well, my friend even gave me reasons why she thinks this is so (I am aghast just typing this, because it makes me both cringe and laugh with awe -- the intricacies of the female/female friend relationship ha). I've definitely encountered situations where I've been talking to a woman and, while I have my faults, in these situations I hadn't done anything wrong. Indeed, they were either cheating, wanted an out or what have you -- and their friends knew they were no good and weren't worthy of having me. But somehow managed to get into my interest's head and get her to turn the tables on me. And yes, I've been cursed out, flipped out on, given the alligator tears of despair -- all because she wanted an our and had eyes (and God knows what else sheesh) for another man.

But my friend threw out a few scenarios and I'm dying laughing just reading what I am typing after she gave it to me.

1. The advice from the Single Angry Woman will "always" be negative, she says. Hmmmmm. Interesting. I'll keep that in mind ha.
2. They want you to stay single along with them so you can continue hitting the clubs with them on the weekends. HAAAAAAAAAAAA I bet.
3. They know that giving you logical advice (like talking things out) will keep you in the relationship, so they'll tell you to cause a ruckus, curse the guy out and cause drama, because 9 times out of 10 a breakup/flee is coming soon.

WOW. Just WOW.

DISCUSS.